Me in the Marvel Universe: Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 .

The Adventures of Me 2003

in Comic Books!

Of course I have adventures in comic books. We all do, even if we're just innocent bystanders, because most comic books take place right here and now. But I've figured out how to make my own adventures worth remembering.

You can meet Marvel and DC heroes in these adventures, plus heroes of my own designing. My viewpoint character lives in the Marvel Multiverse, but not always the Marvel Universe. He (which is to say, I) is kind of like that "Access" guy who lives in both Marvel and DC Universes. "Access" had to commute, but my home and my job move with me.

In comic books, I've got about three universes worth of stuff going on this year, and it's coming in waves like I haven't seen since the Escalation. Uh oh.

I start the year in the Marvel Universe. Which is a good thing, because there's a job for me there, though it's not with the usual sort of employer... and so the first wave begins.

Laundry Time!

Wave 1:

Ever Since Odin Started Doing My Laundry... that's not a phrase most people hear every day. But it's just business as usual for me.

Mage War 2003. For some reason, people consider me a mighty mage, especially ever since I took control of the Father God of Asgard. And it's just in time for a regularly scheduled magic competition. Oh, joy.

Evil Community College Night. I've got a new concept for the Teknophage: he hides out at a community college, and stages contests for his own amusement. I've gotten some good reaction from professional comic book writers on this one. But to get anywhere with this idea, I have to leave my house near sunset. I'm too tired to do that... and besides, I live near one of these colleges.

With Great Power Comes Great Irrelevance. In which I get my longstanding wish for more reliable superpowers, but let's face it, superpowers aren't the answer to everything. Featuring:

Wave 2:

Whatever Happened to the District of Keewatin? One night at a party, my friend Ginny and I were playing a geographic trivia game which involves getting chits for parts of the Canadian Arctic in the right order without knowing what other chits are, and it was hard. It was especially hard because this superhero I know just messed with the borders up north.

Four Heroes. It's a lot like Goofus and Gallant in the children's magazines, only brought to you with corporate sponsorship by Nevada Power and Light. But you won't find the full story on their web site; you'll only find it here.

The story starts with a party at a Chicagoland marina. It's a barbecue held by Nevada Power and Light, at a Chicago marina on Lake Michigan. And there's a springtime storm coming.

Well, suffice it to say, the party comes off as expected, and we're all there.

That's set up enough political intrigue already... but now he's got something planned in Nevada as well.

Sanitarium (Welcome Home). In professional psychiatric opinion, I'm a loonie. I've got a doctor's report to prove it. He seems to think when I tell him about my adventures in other universes and how famous public figures and fictional characters like to persecute me, I'm just making up stories. How dare I!? (27-29 April)

Phones of the Dead!


Phone Company of the Dead. The long distance phone company I work for, wants me to volunteer to find them customers. They also think I should use their phone service to call up my mother on Mother's Day. Little do they know she's dead. But this gives me an idea... because I have a target demographic for them, and the distance sure ain't local. But I'm going to need help from a couple of legendary characters. (19 May)

Wave 3:

The Return of Ordered Realities. I once took notes on an interdimensional council of reality travellers... but you won't find my notes on the Web, because this was back when all I had for computers was an Apple IIe. Whenever I tried to share these notes with someone, something happened to stop me. Now I'm geting worried. Can you see this web page yet?

The Rise of Kid Thanos. Let's see... Thor probably has a geopolitical plot going, or else he wouldn't have parked Asgard over New York City and started encouraging pagan worship. Ellipsis has a geopolitical plot going. Ordered Realities have one going too. I'm opposed to all these plots to some degree, but even with all my new power, there's not a hell of a lot I can do. I'd almost feel left out... except now Thanos apparently has his own plot going, and he's recruited me.

The Galactic Party. My entire galaxy now has reason to wonder what the proxy of Thanos has planned. And that proxy would be me. Thanos would have kept them in the dark... but that's not how I work. I think right now is the perfect time for a party.

Only I Can Save Us Now. I have a grudge against Ordered Realities; I have the power to oppose them; I have the wealth to oppose them. And now, I've finally figured out how to go about it.

Me vs. Galactus

The League of Extradimensional Mightyfriends. I've been building a multiversal alliance, and now it's ready for action.

Me in the Marvel Universe: The End. Well, things went a little bit wrong during that last campaign of mine. Now, I have to pay the price. Yes, it's the Last Me in the Marvel Universe Story.

Wave 4:

After The End. By rights I should be dead, but here I am still alive. I often find that even after the worst has happened, life goes on. Here we go again.

In short, it's back to life as usual, just minus the Marvel Universe stuff.

The Boys of November. Just like everywhere else, companies form up baseball teams and play ball where I live. But where I live, we have superhero companies.

Yay, Evil! Buying the Farm. As much as I'd like to attend that big superhero baseball game, I've got another job to do. I still have allies here, and they still need my help, out on a farm.

The Brotherhood of Evil Minions. To help save the farm, I have to march on Washington, D.C., at the head of a militia force, beneath the banner of the Brotherhood of Evil Minions. Thumbs Up for Evil!

Wave 5: It's DuoPolarity time again! Uh oh.

DuoPolarity: The Convention. After all those years of raising a family, my brother Calvin's running a role-playing game at a convention... and it's DuoPolarity, the infamous universal merge! I just gotta go see that. (11 December)

DuoPolarity: The Summit Meeting. The Governor of California wants to see me about this DuoPolarity stuff, so I'm off to Sacramento. And surely enough, everyone I know who's been through these merges is there too. (26 December)

DuoPolarity: The Event. It's a good thing we've been preparing. Heroes from another universe are once again invading my own, in search of a menace that not even all their powers can defeat. Oh joy. But it's not what you're thinking... (23, 27 December)

Me in the Marvel Universe: Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 .

Thanos, Galactus, Franklin Richards, and this particular Valkyrie are copyright by Marvel Comics. They have copyright over certain portrayals of Thor and Odin too, though otherwise the Norse gods are public domain. Batman is copyright by DC Comics. The Teknophage is copyright by Big Comics, or by whoever owns their assets if they've gone out of business. I'm sure Goofus and Gallant are copyright-protected too, but I can't say who claims them, until the next time I go visit my dentist and read an issue of Highlights. All other characters in this fiction (aside from real people) are copyright © 2009 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.