• Me -1. In 1985 I was two years out of college. That made me old enough to be disillusioned about life in the real world, and young enough to dream about doing something about it. In fact, I came up with some pretty detailed plans, late at night when "normal" comic book geeks would have been cataloguing the adventures of the Avengers or something.
• The Me Wars. When my employer had a downturn in 1988, I had some free time to execute some plans. So, inspired by the heroic rampage of Iron Man during the Armor Wars, I go on a crusade to protect the world from the technology I've worked on. And I've worked on the MX Missile. In short, I emulate my idol Iron Man and single-handedly invade Kamchatka in the Soviet Union to destroy stolen MX technology and restore America's greatness.
• Inferno II. One of those demon invasion/mutant crossover things. I get recruited to lead a demon invasion of Manhattan and fight the X-Men. But the invasion comes to nothing, because demons always fight among themselves. Still, I get a curse placed upon me: "May your life be... interesting."
• If It Comes From Hell, It's For Me. A sort of team-up with the Ghost Rider, before it was even cool. I get to merge with the demon Zarathos, assume the Ghost Rider power, go to Alabama, and fight the Avengers, all to complete my Me Wars crusade.
• DuoPolarity. My adventures during what would much later be known as Marvel vs. DC.
• One Day in New York City. The universes survived that last one, but there's still a little cleanup to do.

And as of 1989 in my Marvel Universe, the Fantastic Four started in 1979, so the Gov was just looking for dependable superhumans on its payroll who weren't ex-convicts.

• Introduction. What if you and your friends suddenly got superhuman powers, and the government came to impound you - but you were already defense contractors?
• Strange Invaders. It starts with a world where the floors in all the skyscrapers are numbered starting from 10. It gets weirder from there. And I get to help investigate. Or is that "instigate"?
• Tarzan in Spag's Casino. Also featuring Siberian tigers, trained dolphins in the town water tank, and the evil High Priestess who wants to marry Tarzan and destroy the rest of us.
• Spymaster vs. Howard the Duck. Good thing this one takes place in a cookware factory. Conveniently near the new Busch Gardens Prairie at the Indy 500.
• Invalidus. The Living Embodiment of Total Quality takes on Jim Shooter, editor-in-chief of Marvel Comics.
• The Test. It's always interesting to take a psychological test when it involves the Joker and Janis Joplin. And this test could mean the end of the company.
• Omniverse the Card Game/Disjointed. Work sucks (but we know that), so I've resigned. But while I run a card game in a casino in Speedway, doom approaches.
• The Oversaur. It rules its world and absorbs the power of all who challenge it. And it's coming for us. People are fleeing to London to set up a resistance. (This is the kind of dream I get when I read Harlan Ellison before bedtime.)

• Introduction. I've shamelessly followed all the comic book trends I could, but I'm still missing some.
• You Think You Have Evil Twin Problems... The comic-book Marvel Universe suffered a massive invasion of evil twins during one of those Infinity War things. Are you sure they're all gone? Introducing: Scum Death in the Marvel Universe!
• Seven Ways of Going. It's another Infinity war thing. If you had the root password to reality, wouldn't you try to be responsible with it?
• The Death of Me. A shameless attempt to boost sales. It turns out not to be me who died; it's my DC universe counterpart who pissed off the Joker once. And after that, I make a big return.
• Feel the Way I Feel. Marketing says I have to team up with spin-off characters. But first I have to spin some more off. Introducing the Scum Syndicate!

• The Thunder War. 1984. What if the Russian government had decided their country wasn't worth much, abandoned it, and went all out to take the American continent instead?
• The Eye in the Pyramid. What if the Masons really did want to take over the U.S.?
• Africa Ascendant. What if the Turks and the Africans had teamed up while Europe was still weak? Adolf Hitler would probably be a Mediterranean pirate, for starters.
• Hitler Gets Mellow. Speaking of Hitler, what would have happened to him if he'd found himself a good Jewish girl early on? Maybe leadership of NATO plus the Nobel Peace Prize.
• Union of the Snake. What kind of priest walks openly down the street in an affluent Boston suburb wearing bright red robes while people accuse him of being a Satanist? Why, a priest in a Satanic country, of course.
• Kansas and Sirius are Burning. The sequel to the Union of the Snake. The world dies by fire, screaming. Cool!

• Reorganization. Okay, so the government has to live with us. Who can save them? Looks like a job for Captain America.
• Office Guests. Why is Magneto in my office? Maybe it's because of the Antarctic anti-metal that finally destroyed all metal in the world. (Author's Note: Antarctic anti-metal really does exist in the Marvel Universe, and isn't just a figment of my imagination.)

Captain America, Iron Man, Ghost Rider, Spymaster, Howard the Duck, Magneto, Inferno, the Armor Wars, and the Infinity War are trademarks of Marvel Comics. The Joker is a trademark of DC Comics. Scum Death, Scum Syndicate, Invalidus, the Oversaur, Insight, DuoPolarity, Union of the Snake, and Omniverse the Card Game are copyright © 1996-2004 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. And all the real people in this document, including me, are really celebrity impersonators. I'm really a guy named Wyatt Ferguson. So there.