But as it turns out, Kang had a Master Plan.
- While we were distracted, another Kang (or a Kang from the future, or something) hid two halves of an ancient Bible in NYC. It was itself priceless, but it held a treasure map too. It was issued as a challenge for the population at large, and the city went into chaos hunting for it.
- I suggested the Ant-Man send ants to look for it, or the Falcon send falcons, or something. But according to Triathlon, that Schrodinger device of Kang's (remember? he turned it on for the Scarlet Witch?) was doing a number on the Doctor Doolittle "talk to the animals" contingent.
- Then the discussion ended, as someone pointed at the TV. A skyscraper was in flames. And it was familiar... it was the UN building! Kang had just blown it up, while the population of NYC was distracted.
- Which is about when the drinking ended.
- [Which leads straight into official Marvel adventure, although I had to replace about half of the Avengers comic book issue #41 to do it... and it leads into my own next sequence.]
Airplane Down. As the Deputy Champion of Death, I have a duty when the enemies of America attack.
Plan Joab: The War is On! Terrorism has made it into my universes. As far as the Marvel Universe is concerned, it's just a bit more noise, what with Kang invading and blowing up buildings on his own and all. But it's still a big deal for me.
Meanwhile: Life goes on during wartime.
The Americapower. Captain America isn't always around to make sure people who chase The American Dream don't suffer repression. Sometimes it comes down to the rest of us, whether we make a career of it or not. But it is kind of like my career, because...
... I work with people from India.
But, of course, opinions differ. Some of my northern Indian friends (the ones who look the most like Iraqis) said they got some threatening letters on their windshields, of the form "Ayrab Go Home". Sigh.
A bunch of us white boys at work decided, that's just wrong. We decided to go sleep among our Indian friends, just in case things went wrong at their homes. I, being one of those white boys, garrisoned one apartment of my friends.
As often happens in my life, I get superpowers to fit the occasion. Sometimes I even know what the power will be in advance. I was quite sure what my power would be for this occasion, so I went shopping first, for a special T-shirt and a lot of Frisbees.
I got lucky, I suppose. Some thugs (a lot, actually) came to torch the apartment I was in, with Molotov cocktails.
But I was ready. I had my T-shirt on, and my Frisbees and my trademark trenchcoat handy. I started throwing Frisbees at the cans of gas, then at the attackers.
I should probably mention now, my superpower for the day was "Killer Frisbee". Really. There is at least one superhero you probably haven't heard of (unless you somehow have heard of "Captain Gonzo"), who had that power. And it works. If you bounce a Frisbee hard enough off a man's neck, he is down.
Remember the T-shirt? It came from a comic book shop; it had a familiar "star and stripes" pattern on it. The hoods saw it beneath the trenchcoat, and said, "Oh my god, it's Captain America!" Half of them ran.
But we were only on a second-story balcony, "ranch style". One of the rednecks came up and yanked me over the edge. His remaining surviving pals started beating on me.
Luckily, sometimes I get more than one power, and I got more today. I suddenly filled with vigor, and four more arms came out of my side. It seems the power was Shivapower.
Surely, I believe that other gods besides the One Maker exist. For what it's worth, I do follow the Judeo-Christian tradition; I've even felt the power of Jehovah on occasion. But Jehovah never said "I am the only God." Instead, he said, "You shall have no other gods before me." (Emphasis added.) We could get into discussion of what a "god" is, but...
Suffice it to say, I destroyed the remaining assailants just like Shiva Himself would have. God(s) Bless America.
- One of them came in and told me on that day (no, not the day the UN blew up, that other day), that a plane had crashed into the WTC. Silly me, I thought "Environmentalists in a Piper Cub" at first... but I digress.
- Other Indian friends of mine have pictures in their offices of their trips to Disney World, posing with Goofy. Seems to me, they're as American as anyone else.
Tennessee Battle Chess. Even with a war on, there are still some fun games.
- Darkseid is human now. He can resurrect himself and others with the Omega Force, however. So he talks me into laying on train tracks with him. He says I can die first, so I'll be stronger. Do I really have to go through with it? (28 September)
- I'm part of a secret conspiracy. All Vermont maple syrup is secretly our substitute sauce. All Sunday comic strips are ours too, designed at a central location in front of a bank. People love to watch us lay them out. (29 September)
- Dr. Doom is on a commercial for Latverian tourism. He says even the Human Torch has a credit card linked to a Latveria Air account. Torchy probably just signed something without looking. (18 October)
- Meanwhile, there's a new version of the Bible, wherein the prophecies have modern cities like Los Angeles and Ocean City inserted. They're eerily accurate-sounding. (20 October)
- There's one household in Tennessee where the son is coming of age; he's 13 years old now. The father has challenged him to prove that he was worthy. The son has chosen a sort of Battle Chess as the challenge.
- They play the game in the expansive family household, taking opposite ends of the house. They recruit their friends to act as pieces. The son's friends are all mutants, so he might actually win.
- But the father is influential. He's gotten the Tennessee Titans to postpone tonight's football game two hours, so it won't conflict with the chess game. And he's invited spectators, including myself.
- The son is a sort of idiot-savant. He's really good at chess. But not as good as his dad.
Me in Comic Books: