Me in Comic Books: Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 .
This Year: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec.

The Adventures of Me 2005

in Comic Books!

Death!

Of course I have adventures in comic books. We all do, even if we're just innocent bystanders, because most comic books take place in a world just like ours. And whenever we go to sleep and then dream of adventures, we have one somewhere. Why not in a comic book?

So here I am, in my own dream world. It's great for you, my readers, as long as you're just watching. You'll never guess where the story will go next month; I usually can't predict it either. But that's not necessarily a good thing for me.

Background

Where I live, President Hatch is reinstating the Superhuman Control Initiative. There's a rebellion against this, superhuman and otherwise, and it's powerful enough to go into exile and then blockade our entire universe. And this affects a bunch of high tech, including my world's teleporters. The United Nations has tried to break the blockade, but they're stymied.

Meanwhile, I still have a life to live, under the name of Wyatt Ferguson. But I pay close attention to the headlines.

January
Headlines
My Life

PHONE COMPANY CAN DECRYPT LOVE LETTERS! But Aside From Decryption, the Software's Kind of Failure-Prone (1 Jan)

IS THE HERO OF DEATH DEAD? The Further Adventures of "Ultimate D" (2 Jan)

CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALISTS TRAIN THEIR KIDS TO BE SCIENTISTS! But the Training May Not Be the Best (3 Jan)

WHY DIDN'T ALEXANDER THE GREAT INVADE ITALY? His Father Thought the Harbors There Were Too Poor (10 Jan)

BROADCAST RADIO HAS SECRET TV SHOWS ENCODED INSIDE! The First Channel to Do This, Used It for Baywatch Reruns (14 Jan)

SHAFT - THE ANIMATED SERIES! Coming Soon on Saturday Morning TV (24 Jan)

IRON FIST - THE MOVIE! Watch for the Comic Book Tie-Ins - They Have Spider-Man and Wolverine! (25 Jan)

FRANK ZAPPA LIVES - AS A SCHOOLTEACHER! He Specializes in Psychological Exams (30 Jan)

The Year After Rapture gets into full swing. Featuring:

City of the Early Morning Darkness. What happens when dreamers can no longer dream of other universes, because their own universe is under blockade? It isn't pretty. And I know, because I live among the dreamers. (4 Jan)

The Domination Cabaret! With Alice Cooper for a wake-up call, Mick Fleetwood in a wig - and spiritual warfare! My kind of inaugural party for the new U.S. administration. (6 Jan)

Meanwhile in Wisconsin. Speaking of our new Republican President... Wisconsin news broadcasts are observing his inauguration, by showing how much of the state proudly voted against him. (19-21 Jan)

Return of the Turkish Empire. In another land, Turkey's on the brink of taking over New York City. And that's less far-fetched than it sounds, because the Turks have allies in New England... but hey, isn't my universe supposedly blockaded from all other lands? (7 Jan)

Over the Mountain. This is Wyatt's brother, Calvin L. Ferguson. Wyatt's disappeared, maybe for good this time. But his friends found this one last story of his, and showed it to me. We all agreed, he'd have wanted it on this web page. (30 Jan)

February

Tribute Fiction of the Month: Pentahedron

Hello. I am Wyatt's colleague, Sureshkumar Prabatha. Now that Wyatt has disappeared, I am administering the FERG. I am glad to speak to u about our old friend Wyatt.

Wyatt is still missing. We cannot be certain he will ever be back. Now that he is gone and I have to talk to all the ppl he had to talk to, I miss him more than all of u.

Unfortunately, Wyatt was the one who kept our records of weird news stories from throughout the world. Without him, we cannot even keep up with u'r stories that u give us in email. We will have to not publish those stories for now. Please don't be offended.

Wyatt would be honored by how many of u have come to observe his memory, both in New England and in the Midwest, the places he loved. But please, the FERG Hotels can't hold u all any more, even if u can camp in tents in February.

Wyatt would also be honored by how much tribute fiction has come out from u all, in memory of Wyatt. U all have written how he might still be alive somewhere. We appreciate it, especially now.

From now on, every month, this site will feature the best fiction in his memory. We have this month's best submission here. The formatting is weird, but otherwise it is so realistic, it almost seems like Wyatt typed it himself. It was submitted anonymously. If one of u can take credit for it, please let us know.

Wyatt always said, every story is true somewhere. May it be true now, especially for the stories u write. Because if it is, as long as u remember him, maybe he is alive somewhere, and maybe he will return to us.

March

Now Introducing: Powernaut - The Wyatt Ferguson Discussion Board

Hello. This is Sureshkumar Prabatha again. Still lots of stories about Wyatt, but no news of him. So we've opened up this discussion board for u to talk on. We'll put u'r stories here too. Hope u enjoy.

April
Features
In the FERG

See Our New FergLetter! With:

NEWS OF THE FERG

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

MEET THE FERG!

And Contributions By:

Sureshkumar Prabatha. "I do not know where our road leads from here, but we would be honored to have you along for the ride. "

Vince Cortez. "Our staff's going everywhere, doing most everything. Here are some of the highlights."

Karl Scribner. "If Wyatt Ferguson were still around, he'd be the 2000's version of the 1969 Tommy."

Now Introducing: The FergLetter
Latest News from the FERG, Every Month!

Wall of Gumby Hi, everyone. I'm Vince Cortez. You may know me as "Wall of Gumby" on the Powernaut board. I've been sort of moderating it. And the FERG's brought me and a few others on, to keep things going. Together, we should be able to keep up with everything Wyatt did.

The Horned Man We've got Karl Scribner as the website lead. He's "The Horned Man", the leading fan fiction author on Powernaut. He's promised to assemble those weird stories that the FERG site is famous for.

And we've got Chang Xia as the engineering lead, to do Wyatt's engineering stuff. Chang has some big plans for FERG engineering.

We've even got Matt Miller, one of Wyatt's relatives, as an intern. In 1999, Matt was on Team Worcester-Douglas with Wyatt, on "The Great Game" TV show. Matt's working as a liaison with Wyatt's brother Calvin, of Nightfall Systems.

Keep watching! We'll have news releases in our monthly FergLetter. And more fan fiction... right here!

Okay. I've had a chance to see the FERG in action. They really are getting along without me. Well, without my dubious leadership skills, anyway. They've got more work than ever. So they need more engineers than ever.

So, I've come back, incognito. Ever since I got superhuman powers back, I can change my appearance, just like I used to. Nobody there recognizes me now. And no, I'm not going to tell you which FERG employee I am. That's the one secret I just can't let loose.

The problem is, there are people out there who can track me. Chief among them, is the rock pianist Vara Hosea. It's kind of an open secret, that she has magic powers. And we've worked together, quite a lot, as recently as three months ago.

Still, I thought I'd thrown off all pursuit, when I ducked into that storybook realm with the magic critters who taught me to think differently. So, nobody was more surprised than me, when Vara Hosea came to the FERG Hotel, looking for me.

When she got to me, my disguise (both physical and mental) was still good enough, but it wasn't keeping her from digging around some more. So, I said, "Booga booga! I am possessed by the spirit of Wyatt Ferguson!"

But that didn't fool her, judging from the look on her face. So I just said, "Can we talk?" And so we walked around a corner - and disappeared. I can still walk into other universes.

Anyway, I told her the truth, and managed to convince her that I should still stay in hiding. Given the current U.S. administration, she didn't take much convincing.

But in case you haven't heard it from Vara yet... I'm okay. Really I am. So please stop worrying about me. And for God's sake, if you're psychic and you want to track me down... you probably won't find me anyway, but maybe you could just leave me be.

May
Features
In the FERG

In This Month's FergLetter:

Coverage of the NAPPANEE INCIDENT

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

And Contributions By:

Sureshkumar Prabatha. "Our hearts go out to all the residents of Nappanee, and to all those affected."

Vince Cortez. "I'm both sad and proud to say, the Freedom Engineering Research Group was in the vanguard of the response to the Nappanee incident. In fact, we got attacked first."

Karl Scribner. "Is it so hard to believe, terrorists have found refuge in Corsica and Sicily, alongside God-The-Father-fearing European Union citizens - who are every bit as anarchy-loving as they are? "

We Honor
Nappanee

After the Nappanee Incident, there's really not much else to say this month.

The Micro-City of Nappanee

June
Features
In the FERG

In This Month's FergLetter:

SPANKER 4 AND THE SECRET HISTORY OF EARTH

The CHICAGO CITY TOWER ATTACK - What's Next?

The SUPERHUMAN FILES - Focus on Chicago

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

And Contributions By:

Sureshkumar Prabatha. "Spanker 3 was supposedly on Earth eight centuries ago. It destabilized three major centers of civilization, and led to the rise of the Mongol Empire."

Vince Cortez. "It seems the aliens have been interacting with Earth since the Roman Empire. Zenobia taught them a lesson."

Karl Scribner. "Yes, there are terrorists, and there are alien invasions, but sometimes you really can blame it on the local loonies."

Fan Fiction of the Month

I've seen what the FERG's been through lately. It breaks my heart, but it also makes me proud I helped build something that can withstand that kind of attack.

Yes, I'm secretly one of their employees, and I still won't tell you which one, but neither are they telling you who all their employees are. They need people to serve the cheddar broccoli snacks in the FERG Pubs, after all.

I've even tagged along with them lately, without their knowing. I can do that. I walk the dimensions now.

I was there to help rescue Nappanee. Vince won't take credit for fighting this one huge bodyguard, and neither will Karl, but I will. I've got the superpowers for it now!

And I did it just because only I could. This bodyguard wasn't bragging about it, but he was the infamous Juggernaut from the Marvel Universe! He and I go way back, even if none of his own stories will ever admit it.

The Juggernaut was chasing Karl at one point, and I got the chance to see if I could make him go Boingy Boingy Boingy with judo flips. That trick never gets old. It didn't stop the Juggernaut, because nothing stops him. That's his superpower. Nothing stops him. But I kept him diverted, while everyone else got away.

But this Nappanee incident has brought some other crap from my past floating back to the surface. The Countess has reappeared! No, not this new Countess San Giacomo, my old grudge-match enemy, the Countess de Fremontagne. I made her stop harassing my friends once, but here she is again. It's really time someone retired her, and only I can do it.

... Well, no. I've remembered the lesson I learned once: With Great Power Comes Great Irrelevance. I've got a lot of power now, but if I go adventuring with it, it'll probably just get me into more trouble. So never mind... for now.

Still, I have a message for the Contessa Teresa Patricia de Fremontagne. Actually, it's more of a curse. And I know from experience, you take curses seriously. You've cursed enough people yourself.

There will come a day when all your evil deeds fall back upon you. On that day, all your power will be as irrelevant as all of mine ever was. And that day could come at any time. So, have your fun while you can.

July

June's fan fiction wrote of a day of irrelevant power. It looks like that day has come already.

Attention!
HUMANS
OF THE EARTH!
We Are In Control!

Read Our Important Announcement Here!

There. We got the public service announcement out of the way. The Jellyfish are making every web site on Earth put that announcement up.

Now, I think I'm going to hole up someplace remote.

(signed) Karl Scribner

August

The Powernaut

Full Entry

Hello, my human, superhuman, and non-human allies! You can call me the Powernaut.

Last month, this kindly web provider had a public service announcement from our planet's guests the Jellyfish. This month, they're letting me speak.

I'm here to report, the stories of reality storms are true. Our universe seems safe for now, but the storms are raging outside. I know of refugee movements from two other universes to our own. Like any good citizen would, I've taken on the task to see them settled peacefully.

Just like trees grow after a forest fire, superhumans rise up after a reality shift. Like any good citizen would, I've taken on the task to help keep us all safe from the bad ones.

The reality shifts are coming faster now, and our shields may not hold. Allies of mine are researching how to calm these down, and minimize their effect upon our reality. If you wake up one morning, and the world is different... we did our best to give you a soft landing.

And all of you in the Power Patrol have helped. We can all fight for our reality, just by liking it. You can sign up for the Power Patrol here!

I've told you all you really need to know right here. But I don't wish to hide anything from you, my allies. I'll be making my full records public soon. And I'll let you give responses and share them with the world, just like the Powernaut discussion board used to.

If all goes well, you'll hear more from me. God Save the Earth!

(signed) the Powernaut

September

Full Entry

Hello, my allies! This is the Powernaut again. I have lots of responses for you this month. You can read them here.

October
Headlines
My Life

1970s NBC NEWSMAN'S PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT RE-RELEASED! Chet Huntley Did a Message About Honor Among Thieves (3 Oct)

SON OF TITAN! Alien Giant Returns to Earth - and Finds His Even Larger Son (7 Oct)

THRIFT STORE AND S.C.A. TEAM UP - TO OPEN AN INN! Store Brings the Old Furniture; Society for Creative Anachronism Brings the Old Parties (11 Oct)

HEROES RETURN FROM BEYOND - IN GIANT MELONS! The Secret Superhuman War (13 Oct)

CORPORATE ISLAND VS. CRIMEFIGHTERS! Island Has Fine Dining, Not Sleazy Bars - And They Say It's Because, No Vigilantes! (13 Oct)

RADIO PROGRAM WITH ITS OWN COLORING BOOK! How to Introduce the Kids to Better Music (17 Oct)

BEAUTIFUL AFRICAN CAPITAL! Tourists from Atlantis Help Build the Capital City of Togo (25 Oct)

The Dark Maneuvers. This is me. Wyatt Ferguson. I'm finally back! And I'm on a mission. As ever, I find, the best place to keep the secrets of my mission, is here on the World Wide Web.

After this year's reality shifts, the world's going to hell faster than ever. Wars, hurricanes, earthquakes, sunken cities, famlee-worshipping Presidents, etc. And it's scary. I want my real history back!

Do you know what else is scary? History might change again, as long as the reality shifts continue. I've driven reality shifts before, so history might be depending on me this time. Let's hope I don't $#@! up.

A Message from the Villain. My old villains are all missing or underground, just like most of the world's heroes are. But there's a new one, and he has a message for us.

A Message from the Rivals. Of course, there are some cranks out there with messages too.

November
Headlines
My Life

TIME TRAVELLER VS. WILLIAM PENN! The Father of Pennsylvania Confronts a Chrononaut Who's Helping Found Other Colonies (13 Nov)

SECRET PLANET BETWEEN EARTH AND MARS! You Just Need the Right Password to Get There (16 Nov)

MARILYN MONROE 1911! Our Own Famous Movie Star Was Named After an Embarassing Women's Suffragette Protestor (18 Nov)

SUPERHUMANS POWERED DOWN! They Have A Great Race With Their Powers, But the Powers Aren't Much Help Now (21 Nov)

DOROTHY BACK TO OZ - IN A SLINKY RED DRESS! New Musical Has the Grown-Up Dorothy in a Dress that Matches the Red Slippers (22 Nov)

VIGILANTE ON THE MOON! He Attacks a Secret Lunar Base - And His Adoptive Daughter May Have Helped! (25 Nov)

TRUCK WRESTLING! High School Wrestling Match Has Contests Between Trucks - Sumo Style, Of Course (26 Nov)

ADVENTURES OF THE PREGNANT WHORE! Among Other Things, She Meets a Cartoon Penguin (28 Nov)

RESURRECTION OF THE DOG! Crazy Old Cultist Slays His Dog and Resurrects It Every Night, Just to Avoid Cleaning Up Feces (30 Nov)

Occulator Compuplex. Reality shifts. An alien hive mind. The Powernaut. Villains on the loose. It all boils over. This is the battle for the end of the world. And of course, I find myself there. Oh, joy. (4-9 Nov)

The State of the World. Apparently our universe has once again survived. Big surprise there. We even stopped the reality shifts. So what now? (9-10 Nov)

  • Well, that's why I'm really watching the weird news closely. It's still here! But people don't believe it as much now...
It Hits the Fan

December
Headlines
My Life

PRISON WITHOUT WALLS! It Relies on Tracking Devices, Community Vigilance, Brainwashing, and the Remoteness of the Maine Woods (1 Dec)

TELEKINETIC SIT-UPS! A Superhuman Does Them from the Feet Up, and Calls Them "Crypt-Ups" for a Horror Skit (2 Dec)

GORILLA SHERIFF MORMON QUEST! New Game Has a Sheriff, a Talking Gorilla, and a Mormon Woman on a Quest to Reverse a New Ice Age - Was This a Real Adventure? (5 Dec)

RESTAURANT PATRONS HONORED - IN RESTROOMS! Pictures at Toilets Show All the Regulars (6 Dec)

TIGER SCARECROWS KEEP MANSION DRAINS FREE OF PESTS! Famous Comic-Book Writer Lives in One of the Mansions (13 Dec)

GHOST OF A TREE! It May Come Back to Life - But Then All the Other Trees Will Hate It (14 Dec)

ZAPPA FAMILY SINGERS! Moon and Dweezil Coax Frank Out of Faked Death - But They're Disorganized (15 Dec)

JUNIOR TAP-DANCING FIREFIGHTER! Little Girl Can Stamp Fires Out - Useful in a House with Faulty Wiring (20 Dec)

VAMPIRE ROSE! Vampire Uses Flower to Seduce a Former Baseball Player (25 Dec)

BEETHOVEN'S LESS SUCCESSFUL BROTHER! Karl von Beethoven Wrote Jingles for Advertising (28 Dec)

Why don't I just take this month off for Christmastime, eh?

You think it'll happen? ... No, I didn't think so either.

You're In the Army Now! In our bold new universe, they've never had superhumans... before me. The Powers That Be are kind of interested in me. This is much like where I came from, only in an even more militaristic way. For starters, it seems I get Christmas in Iraq this year!


Me in Comic Books: Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 .
This Year: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec.

The Juggernaut slipped in from Marvel Comics, and they have him trademarked. All other characters in this fiction are copyright © 2006 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.