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Superhuman World 2011 is a work of fiction. The characters herein and the commentary about them should not be considered "real".
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April 10, 2011

Where the Fate of the World is at Stake!

Correspondent: Richard Alston with Noelle LaRue

I'd retired to British Columbia, just up the coastal highway from Vancouver, to a town named Britannia Beach. The name came from imperial days. The town once gave the British Empire most of its copper. Now the mines are spent. Britannia Beach has one mining museum and about three hundred residents left. The highway only went inland from there - to the next town over, then the big ski area, then nowhere.

Someone had thought of developing Britannia Beach as a theme resort with time-share condos. They'd even built the condos. I'd bought one to live in. But when the Earth's orbit changed, those plans were abandoned. ( That was fine with me. I took my refund and moved there anyway.

There's still a storefront community church in Britannia Beach, founded when the resort was moving in. I go there. I sing on a worship team with Terri. Jane plays piano. But the church is dying. Most everyone goes 10 km up the road to Squamish. It would be nice if a town with a grand name like Britannia Beach could be grander than this. I think Terri and Jane would like that even more.

My daughter Jen was visiting. She was singing with me and Terri on Sunday morning, with Jane playing. It was the end of the service, with people walking out as we sang the last song one more time. The pastor's idea was, we'd give them a chance to walk out to the grey cloudy noon so the choir wouldn't clog the aisles on the way out. Ha.

But then there was one more visitor. He came in with a "pop", from the back of the room, where there was no door! He was wearing a trenchcoat, but that was slashed and tattered. He collapsed on the floor.

He looked up. "Richard? Jen? Where am I?" I knew him.

I said, "Uh... Welcome to the Community Britannia Beach Church. We call it CBBC. Everyone, this is my friend Wyatt. Uh, Wyatt, what brings you here today?"

"I think I'm home! Can you tell me who's President and Vice-President?"

"If you're talking about the U.S., it's Barack Obama and Joe Corrigan."

"Hooray! ... Not that it's the best of all possible worlds, but it's still my home." He stood up, and talked to Terri and Jane too. "Hi. I'm Wyatt Ferguson."

One man was still in the seats. He came up. "Hi. I'm Bill. Terri's husband. I have to wonder what brings you here today."

"Oh, it is definitely time for me to share. Richard, would you trust all these people with the fate of the universe?"

Wyatt and Jen and I were in the same congregation just before our pastor was held prisoner during the Secret Wings controversy. Wyatt had moved away, but he still helped our pastor's wife rescue him. ( So I know Wyatt is serious about confronting evil on great scale. I trust him.

Here in Britannia Beach, my friends and I are a faith community. We're the last one here. That means I trust them too. And I do. I knew they and Wyatt would get along. So would I trust them with the fate of the universe? I said, "Yes, I would."

Wyatt said, "Well then. I've been away. I'm not sure how to explain it. But where I was, we were fighting over power objects. People do this every eight years or so. These objects can change history. They almost changed the Bible once. ( This is the fourth time I've had to fight for these.

"This time, people tried to control the power objects during the fight. It changed history all around us. It came down to soldiers with swords, with packs of dogs. I hate dogs... But I had to stay in the fight, because I'm the only person anywhere these power objects cannot affect. ( I was hacking at one chancellor at one point, but he wouldn't fall down..."

Wyatt sat down. He bowed his head and crossed his arms, with fists clenched.

Terri put her hand on his shoulder. He looked up and said, "Do you have a tissue?"

Jen handed him one. He blew his nose. He held out his hand for more tissues, twice. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose again...

Bill said, "Sounds like a really bad trip."

Wyatt looked up and said, "You might say that..."

I had to join in. "Bill. Did you hear about when people fought Satanist robots along Interstate 5 in Oregon? Wyatt led that fight. Jen and I saw him there. He really does help." (

"Thank you, Richard." Wyatt uncrossed his arms, and sat up straight. "I've had my moments. But I couldn't have done it without you. Now I need help again.

"I won this war. Sort of. The real winners were so annoyed with these artifacts, they gave them all to me. Then they slammed me out of their universe where they'll never see me again. The same way they did to Jimmy Flamer."

Terri said, "You know Jimmy Flamer?" (

"No, but we have mutual friends. And mutual enemies. They'd redesigned their costumes for his departure...

"But I digress. The war is over. I won this war. I have all the power objects everyone fought over. These can change the Earth's orbit."

Bill said, "Where are they?"

"Inside my body." His hands and forehead glowed.

Everyone looked at me. The pastor had gone. I was Worship Team leader, so I guess I was leader right then... "Wyatt, if you have all that power, why haven't you just done that? Saved the Earth?"

"Oh, please. That's what Ellipsis would do. I'd like a second opinion."

The U.S. superhero Ellipsis helped save Earth from the planetoid collision that changed its orbit. He also had super-science; he guaranteed sunlight for traditional crops afterward. The sunlight came, but the crops didn't... ( Ellipsis might have needed that second opinion.

So... "Wyatt. How does your power work?"

"It's like wishing for anything with a magic lamp. I can't do the wish, because I'm the lamp now. But other people can, if they're touching me."

Terri still had her hand on Wyatt's shoulder. She said, "So I could..."

He said, "Hey, watch out!"

But then we were inside a cathedral. Plate glass windows opened on the harbor... Britannia Beach didn't have a harbor, but it had one now! Three great ships were docked. The Union Jack was flying all around. Britannia Beach was finally living up to its name.

Wyatt said, "Very pretty. But do you see what I mean?"

Terri was wide-eyed. "You mean there is a world like that, and you took us there?"

"No. You wished this was that world. You changed the whole world."

"Oh, no... Sorry! I blog about Victorians! I dream about them! I didn't mean to break the world!"

"But you did." A big black man came in through the cathedral front door, in full African warrior outfit with a spear! He had a wild-haired white woman behind him, dressed like a witch.

Wyatt said, "Adu! Wenchy! You're almost in time."

"Wyatt? You are involved in the deeper slavery of my nation?"

Wyatt stood, and crossed his arms again. "Adu. Calm. Focus. Introduce yourself."

The big man reluctantly crossed his own arms like Wyatt did. "Wyatt. You are correct. I am Adu Asantemantse, the Warrior Ashanti. I come here to free Africa."

"Adu. I introduce my friends. Richard. Jen. Terri. Bill. Jane. I came to them for council. I ask you for council as well."

"Wyatt. I introduce my companion. Wenchy the Witch. I went to her for council. We sit with you for council." Adu uncrossed his arms and sat, cross-legged on the floor. The woman with him sat too.

Wyatt uncrossed his arms too, waved at the witch, and sat on the floor. We sat too. Then Wyatt spoke again...

"Adu. I've come here from a place of great war and great power. I still bear the power."

The witch with Adu said, "We know of the power. If you'll excuse me, I need to get up and prepare the defenses."

Adu said, "Excused." Wyatt said, "Excused... Adu, what do we talk about first?"

"Wyatt. We must talk of the history of Africa. Something happened here today that kept my nation under foreign dominance."

Terri said, "I'm so sorry!"

Wyatt said, "Adu, my companion speaks true. Might we make these proceedings informal?"

"Wyatt. So shall it be." Adu stood up. "Now, woman, tell me what you did."

Wyatt stood up too. "I still stand by my companion. I gave her the power to do what she did. I'm like a wishing lamp now. She made one unwise wish."

"I see. How can we correct this?"

"I'm not sure how yet, but we can. Nothing is permanent when people wish it through me, unless I wish it too."

"Can you tell me why?"

The woman Wenchy had moved through the cathedral, lighting candles. She spoke back, "There's no time. The enemies are almost here."

Wyatt said, "Oh... Good. There are seven of us, not counting me. You'd better all come lay hands on me now."

But three men had come in through the door. Two looked like British policemen, and the other like H.G. Wells. One of the policemen said, "Seems a little late for church. What's all this then?"

I spoke up, "Well, we're planning a ceremony." I pointed at the candles. Then I realized, I was wearing a robe! So were Jen, Jane, and Terri! The Cathedral of Britannia Beach must have had a choir, not a worship team.

"Then what's he doing here?" The policeman pointed at Adu. He had his spear raised at them.

Wenchy said, "Adu! They're not the enemies!"

And I said to the police, "Uh, he's an honored guest."

The civilian with the policemen spoke up. "If I might intrude, I tracked a device of great power to this location. As a member of the Imperial Academy of Metascience, I can testify that this device is off the top of our measurement scale."

Bill looked like he'd had enough. He yelled at no one in particular, "What exactly is going on?"

I said, "We'll get the explanations later. Just trust me now." I laid my hands on Wyatt. So did Jen, then Terri and Jane. Then Adu and Wenchy.

The senior policeman said, "This doesn't look like any church ceremony I ever saw... You! Stop right there!" Bill had been coming to join us.

The doors of the cathedral blew in.

The visitors turned to look at the door. Bill dashed to us. We were seven around Wyatt, for what that was worth.


Various characters in this fiction may have been created by various people. These are noted in credits where already claimed. But absent claims from these people, all characters in this fiction and the phrase "Superhuman World 2011" are copyright © 2011 - present by Eiler Technical Enterprises.