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Me in the Superhuman World:
Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 Uplift .

Superhuman World 2010 is a work of fiction. The characters herein and the commentary about them should not be considered "real".


Uplift Day

May 2010


Secret Masters (of Evil) are keeping busy at least.

(signed) Wyatt Ferguson.

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Uplift Day. Commentators: Bruce Klybourn and N.F. Pachek for the World Journal Monthly. (9 May)

May 9, 2010     See Our Other Issues!
How Do Supervillains Protect Their Island Bases from Natural Tsunamis?

The vampire pirates and other inhabitants of Tuvalu are lined up outside their Government House, waiting to see if their patron Eric X will be victorious. (9 May)

  • Eric X won't admit he even has powers, but he does have massive charisma. He's one of the leading would-be Masters of the World; he goes to Masters meetings. He's built up a coalition of superhumans, vampires, undersea creatures, and international alliances, centered on the Pacific island nation of Tuvalu.
  • The undersea allies of Tuvalu are slowly building up the coral islands of the nation. However, this isn't keeping up with tsunamis. Eric X had to call in favors to keep Tuvalu above water when the Earth got knocked around by Planet Iv.
  • Eric X is therefore exploring all possible means to keep his favorite Pacific islands above water. So he's gone on a quest for the Magic Fishhook of Tongafusifonua which pulls islands up from the bottom of the sea. (Really. The trickster godling Maui went on this quest before him.)
  • Of course, it's a pretty poor quest that only has one reason to go. Eric X also wants to break into the undersea mining business. After last year's Earth movements, there's all sorts of weird stuff coming up from the sea bottom. In particular...
  • There's one known Unobtainium deposit on Earth's surface, in Wyoming. But Eric X has undersea allies who have a good idea where to find more: in international waters southwest of Tuvalu!

To find the way to Tongafusifonua, Eric X befriended a Tuvaluan mystic who was being overwhelmed with his animal spirit guides. Eric was his only guide who represented upward evolution. (25 Mar)

And so, Eric X appeared before Tongafusifonua in his god realm. Eric brought one weapon and one animal, as was allowed by the rules of the god realm.

  • "Mortal, why are you here?"
  • "Pagan god, I've come for your magic fishhook."
  • "Oh, another one of those. I'd challenge you to find the hook yourself in my workshop, but I tire of this. Begone."
  • "No. This was not a request."

Eric X released a vampire bat. It flew to the god's neck, and drew blood.

  • "... I can actually feel the wound. Mortal, what have you done?"
  • "In your pagan god world, magic animals can hurt you. This one will make you its unliving slave."
  • "I doubt that. Die, mortal. Then you'll be my unliving slave."

Tongafusifonua threw an axe at Eric X. But the axe flew wide.

  • "No, godling. The magic works already."
  • "Then die by my own hand!"

Tongafusifonua ran at Eric X. But he tripped.

  • "That won't happen either, demigod..."

Meanwhile, the bat flew through the workshop. It plucked a hook with its claws, and flew back to Eric X.

  • "... But no matter. My minion absorbed your knowledge, so I have what I came for. Oh, and if you wish to reverse the curse, you will have to bathe in sunlight for three days. If it works, it will cause you excruciating pain."

Eric X departed the god's workshop, with the bat and the magic fishhook. He mused, "I wonder if I should have admitted I brought a kinetic deflection field as my weapon?"

Eric's next stop was the High Seat in the Dreamtime. From there he would cast his hook upon the islands of Tuvalu - and the mineral deposit nearby.

But the way was blocked by a masked superhuman. Ellipsis was there! And Eric X didn't have the weapons to fight him.

  • "Eric X. Self-proclaimed savior of the South Pacific. You may invade the realm of dreams and defeat a god, but you will not rule here."
  • "Ellipsis. Annoying energy mutant whom the world hates, even if they pretend to like you now. I suppose you must know the way to this place of power as well as I do, but what makes you think you make the decisions here?"
  • "I did rule here once, with two other champions of Earth. Elves, gods and demons all rose up against that." (See Related Story)
  • "So let them rise again themselves if they care that much."
  • "They will. Though from where they sit now, they do not rise so much as squish. But they will let you use the hook once. You will have to choose what you love the best: the undersea minerals, or your new adoptive land."

Ellipsis pointed at a small pool. In it, Eric X saw the people of Tuvalu waiting outside Government House.

Eric X returned to Government House and said, "I could not save your islands. But I have brought you a new island, large enough to house you with prosperity for all!"

Beside the old island of Tuvalu, the new island now stood. Eric X had raised it from the ocean floor, and dragged it to the middle of the island chain. The old islands were doomed, but Eric X wouldn't let that stop him.

Afterword by Wyatt Ferguson.

I was actually suspecting Eric X would show his human side, save the existing islands of Tuvalu, and brag to his fellow villains that he needed to preserve his base area. But no, he's gutting his realm for greater power. Thumbs Up for Evil, I suppose.

Me in the Superhuman World:
Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 Uplift .

Author's Notes:

This story is technically May 2010 #2, following "Rednecks from Mars, the Red Planet" which is May 2010 #1. However, the order of this and the other 2010 stories is not terribly important to the plot.

All characters in this fiction and the phrase "Superhuman World 2010" are copyright © 2010 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. The map of the Superhuman World is based on one from Henry Bottomley's map software which is well worth a visit.

(signed) Scott Eiler, 22 May 2010.