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Minions of Eiler Unite!

Evacuation Day 2013

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In metro Seattle-Washington today, the Dominator saw children enjoying the rain. It's hard for the Domination of Eiler to withdraw its garrison when Seattle's proper climate has returned. But the time has come. Shutdown Fun Time in Bothell-Washington is complete. Yesterday the garrison shut down EilerBase Bothell. Tomorrow the garrison leaves town.

One workplace, one church, one apartment complex, one exercise club, one mail headquarters, and three neighborhood pubs have each shown an interest in the next stage of Dominance. Closing ceremonies have gone from Wednesday through today, Sunday. For the record, Evacuation Day 2013 is tomorrow, because it's not over until the entire neighborhood is evacuated.

As the Domination prepared for evacuation, it scattered gifts (especially to a local thrift store) and shed its belongings. The last time the Domination of Eiler filled a warehouse with its goods, it required 10-foot by 10-foot. Now it's 7.5-foot by 10-foot - with room within for a local office should the need arise. The desk, the table, and the fancy chair are all there.

The next objective (of course) is further Dominance. This will take the shape of a continental goodwill tour, to be referred to as the Second Continental Offensive. (The First Continental Offensive was in 2010, resulting in the Domination of Eiler crossing the continent to plant a garrison near Seattle.) As currently envisioned, the offensive will take several stages.

- The Domination's expeditionary force will take three days to drive the five-hour drive to Salem-Oregon. Side trips are envisioned to Mount Rainier, Long Beach, and the Oregon coast.

- In Salem-Oregon, the Dominator will attend a roller derby tournament. ( The Women's Fast Track Derby Association has invited him to after-derby parties. It's fun to be treated like a visiting dignitary, even if people don't know you're the Dominator.

- After that, some odd bits of Oregon and Idaho will probably submit. Then Wyoming will either submit its parts of the Yellowstone Park or the Oregon Trail.

- Mount Rushmore in South Dakota needs submitting. Otherwise the path is clear to the Domination's territories from Chicago eastward, where many places will also treat the Dominator like a visiting dignitary.

During this offensive, the Domination of Eiler is taking another challenge. It's promised the world a nine-episode weekly Powernaut 1966 comic, starting October - but you can preview it today!

- To support this comic, the Domination has acquired a portable scanner to be known as Thunder Child the Scanner. In the Domination of Eiler, whenever multiple pieces of equipment are acquired for the same purpose, they are designated as either Thunder Child or War Machine, depending on whether they are mobile (Thunder Child) or durable (War Machine). This mission will also include War Machine the Computer and War Machine the Mountain Bike.

- Ever since their origins around 2005, the Domination of Eiler and the Powernaut have been rivals. ( ) It'll be interesting to see how this newest part of the rivalry works out.

Some people would swap their lives with someone else. The Dominator would not.

All hail the Domination of Eiler!

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