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Domination of Eiler Journal #12

Operation Outcast

The Great Burning of Baraboo, 2006

What Is the Domination of Eiler?

In one sense, "The Domination of Eiler" is a political entity modeled upon the Holy Roman Empire. Which is to say, it works through national and local political entities, but transcends nation-state boundaries. You may already be a citizen without knowing it!

In another sense, "The Domination of Eiler" is a pen name for an amateur but very prolific web journalist. Perhaps you may enjoy these travel writings, given this simple guide:

  • The Domination of Eiler is led by, of course, the Dominator.
  • Its chief military force, and bodyguard of the Dominator, is the Domination Guard.
  • The Domination's world headquarters has been moved from Scumburg-Illinois! It is now in Palatine-Illinois, still near Chicago - and Wisconsin. As such, Wisconsin remains a target for Domination patrols.
  • On the Day of Glory two months ago, the Domination of Eiler told its major corporate sponsor to eat Dominance. Afterward, it transferred its primary EilerBase from Scumburg-Illinois to cheaper lodgings in nearby Palatine-Illinois.

    As part of the move, two crates of sensitive documents (old tax returns and such) were uncovered. These documents need destruction.

    Mercenary operatives will shred up to ten crates of documents for a flat price of $60. However, there being only two crates here, this solution is not satisfying.

    Coincidentally, several of the Domination's coalition partners (from the old corporate sponsor) are going camping this weekend. Which means campfires. Which means burning of firewood, and trash, and maybe even sensitive documents. $60 will buy two nights of camping. So, the Domination of Eiler is supporting this maneuver.

    The campout takes place in Baraboo-Wisconsin, which is about the closest place to EilerBase that is still beyond the Domination's front line. So, the maneuver will be simple enough to do in a weekend, but there will still be some new conquest involved. Operational Map

    Day 0: Saturday 19 August 2006

    Due to recent drastic life change, the average Domination weekend starts on Sunday. This puts the Domination one day out of phase with its coalition partners. But this could be an advantage, if only for avoiding Friday night crowds.

    Domination expeditionary force deployed from place of work, the venerable "Sparrow's Nest Thrift Store" of Palatine-Illinois. Forces of man and nature fell into alignment with the Domination's goals, one by one.

    Rapid deployment was wildly successful. The Domination force made it to Wisconsin state park "Devils-Lake" by 8 pm, as planned. Operational music "Outcast".

    However, something was still wrong. The Dominator has a Doom Sense, which had been tingling all afternoon. Usually it means a critical piece of luggage is missing. But tonight, it meant the campground lost the reservation! Thankfully, they found it eventually.

    Camp erected by 8:30, thanks to the Domination Guard's pop-up tent which has now camped in both Maine and Wisconsin. Successfully then united with coalition partners at different camp site, just in time for massive banquet of grilled meats, thank you. The Domination Guard provided nasty Swedish vodka, plus disposable shot glasses. Disposable glasses much appreciated.

    Life is good.

    Day 1: Sunday 19 August 2006

    Due to late start last night, Domination Guard force stayed up until 1 am but didn't drink too much! However, white-trash campers at nearby site started noise at 7 am - with a puking sound. Other campers soon revealed the presence of incredibly whiny-ass kids who really, really don't like camping. Earplugs not handy, and will be needed for continued Domination of this site.

    After breakfasts, coalition forces invited the Domination Guard for a mountain bike ride. However, after months of storage, the tired old NARF-Cycle mountain bike was discovered to have a flat tire. This was easily fixed at local Baraboo bike shop a few miles away, but it still precluded a combined maneuver.

    Having separated from allies, the Dominator took the opportunity to have prime rib and Leinenkugel draft beer for lunch at "Hooty's Bar and Grill", near the park gate. Lacking in horseradish sauce, but still tasty.

    Sadly, Baraboo town museum closed on Sunday and Monday. Other Baraboo attractions "Log Cabin Restaurant" (pancakes on a steel plate) and "Circus World" not of interest. The Dominator got dragged to both those places as a child, and he doubts they've changed much.

    Instead, returned to camp and reunited with allies to go down to beach. The combined force promptly fractured in four directions, for swimming, kayaking, rock climbing, and (for the Domination Guard) hiking.

    After exercises, allies went home, as one might expect on a Sunday night from those who have to work on a Monday morning. The Dominator was therefore left at his campsite, with valuable seclusion for the primary mission: The Great Burning of Baraboo.

    Day 2: Monday 21 August 2006

    Historic House of Janesville
    Abe Lincoln slept here. Yada yada.
    Cottage of Lake Geneva
    The Dominator slept here. Individual lodgings, cheap!

    Domination day of rest. Earplugs obtained in Baraboo facilitated sleep until 9:30 am.

    Broke camp at 11:30 am. Broke the tent too; its "bendable" struts finally snapped and ripped away from the surrounding cloth. The tent is no longer usable, but at least its packing is greatly simplified. The "Great Blade of Fredericksburg" Swiss Army knife was able to saw the 35 feet of struts into disposable portions. Campground dumpster provided storage.

    Wisconsin River free ferry was conquered on back road #113, just for fun on the way back to the highway. Operational music "Pearly Queen", a.k.a. "I Couldn't Stop Myself from Having Fun".

    Rest stop in Janesville on the way home. Today, Miracle the White Buffalo submits to the Domination!

    In the Domination of Eiler, most of the vacations are so intense, they require a vacation to recover from. This vacation was no exception. Lake Geneva-Wisconsin chosen for the post-vacation recovery vacation.

    Day 3: Tuesday 22 August 2006

    Domination of Eiler expeditionary force found the diner "Dilars-Restaurant" in Richmond-Illinois for country-style steak and eggs. Then went into rapid deployment mode, straight to work - which conveniently starts at noon. From Richmond, the Core Territories were less than an hour away.

    Ribbon of Domination

    The overriding objective of this operation was to burn stuff. This was done quite thoroughly. But the operation shows these other signs of success:

    The Domination will admit to these operational shortcomings, though:

    Still, Domination of Eiler forces return triumphant as ever, all praise to the One Maker. The Domination shall have to arrange for more such weekends.

    (signed) Dominator S. Eiler, Fist of the One Maker, for the Domination of Eiler.

    The Domination of Eiler believes in free sharing of information. But if you wish to reproduce significant parts of the commentary within, be aware that it is © copyright 2006 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. And have a niiiice daay.