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Domination Journal #2

Operation Waka Pig

Domination Operations in Wisconsin's Dairyland, 2004

The Domination of Eiler currently finds itself in the unprecedented situation of having military force to spare for a period of four days, with no clear objective.

Domination leadership feels a minor combined-arms operation of armor and cavalry is in order, to reinforce Domination control near the Core Territories. Objective of the exercise is still being evaluated, but involves northeastern Illinois and southern Wisconsin.

Day 0: Friday 22 October 2004

Domination and allied mercenary engineering forces were asked by their corporate sponsor to engage in a morale-building bowling exercise. Roughly 30 troops were mustered for the exercise, but only after corporate command from the Assistant Vice-President. This is considered a success for this particular sponsor, who only has 200 or so engineers to draw upon.

The Domination expects to mobilize more forces for its own similar exercise next week for Halloween (which is the leading holiday in the Domination of Eiler).

The corporate exercise was mostly distinguished by its silliness. Which is not a bad thing. And due to random chance, the Dominator and the Assistant Vice-President had quality time together, in a particularly silly manner involving stunt bowling. But along with logistical considerations, it precluded an early start to the Domination's own operation.

Day 1: Saturday 23 October 2004

Weekend started out with intense rain, but the Domination chief meteorologist predicts improved travel conditions beginning Saturday afternoon. Domination forces therefore performed logistical activities during the rainy morning, and embarked from EilerBase Scumburg at noontime.

Domination Guard armor proceeded north along the DominationWay highway (commonly called Illinois State Road 53) and then U.S. Route 12. (Operational music "Pigs").

Infantry then conquered the Lake County Discovery Museum in Wauconda. Museum is currently operating a shrine to dead football player Walter Payton, but is commonly known for its historical exhibits and one of the world's leading postcard collections. Museum grounds are a scenic county park. Foliage situation encouraging for scenery enhancement of Domination operations in the region.

Lunchtime mess at a cheap provider "Rumors on Grand" in Fox Lake, in the Chain-of-Lakes region. It was like dining in Smallville, except Ma Kent owns and operates the bar, and Evil Coach Luthor was on suspension from the Saturday afternoon track meet for swearing at the students.

Coach was cooperative, and recommended resort lodgings along Grass Lake Road, near Chain O' Lakes State Park. Domination forces scouted the area (operational music "Waka"), and found that "resort" means "bring your own trailer". Still, the state park was suitable for a cavalry exercise. Barracks arranged at nearby but remote Antioch Motel, which is probably considered cheap, but only by Illinois standards.

Evening mess hall at nearest Italian restaurant "Bacchus", which has fine ribs but otherwise standard banquet hall cuisine. It is to be noted that the local jurisdiction of non-Domination authority allows both smoking and children at the bar, thereby producing an ambiance which combines Denny's with a Moose hall. Oh, the humanity.

Recreational pub crawl followed, three other taverns along a 1-mile stretch of road (Captain Carl's, Double Dee's, and the Last Resort). So far, the most obvious regional pub facts are:

  1. Locals here have largely construction jobs, as far away as the south DominationWay highway. But even those who have jobs in the western Core Territories are not happy with the commute.
  2. Like their suburban northside-Chicagoland brethren, these rural Cubs fans are rooting for the Red Sox in the World Series.
  3. The finest draft beverage in the region is the Miller Genuine Draft of Milwaukee, although the Old Style of Chicago can also be found with some effort.

Day 2: Sunday 24 October 2004

Domination Guard forces emerged fully functional from last night's pub crawl. The high quality beers which usually constitute the Domination's alcohol ration, usually require some care as to proper hydration for recovery. But fortunately, watery popular American draft beers have proper hydration built in.

Stil, Domination leadership had to choose between breakfast mess and Kingdom-of-Heaven obeisance, and was presented with a choice between two diners and zero churches. Sadly, the Domination chose breakfast.

Breakfast mess from provider "Captain Carl's" as patronized last night. Their breakfast specialty of bacon, egg, cheese, biscuits, hash browns, and gravy, all layered together for efficiency of eating, has to be seen to be believed. Their Bloody Mary special looked impressive too, but the Domination chose an extensive coffee ration for the troops.

Domination Guard armor then swiftly moved into Wisconsin. Valuable logistical support, including maps and advice on lodging, was received at the Genoa/Route 12 border crossing point, from the Wisconson Welcome Center garrison. (This was a consideration in waiting to cross in the daytime.)

Domination Guard infantry disembarked at "Old World Wisconsin" village for a three-hour infantry operation. "OWW" is open daily through Halloween Sunday, but there are probably more volunteer tour guides on Sunday than Monday. Congestion of tourists was not a problem.

Secondary target for the day is the Kettle Moraine state park, which has bike trails according to the Domination's universal atlases. Domination forces chose the village of Eagle as the avenue of approach.

Eagle-Wisconsin is home to several biker bars, including the "Stagger Inn" barroom which has an eight-room hotel - which the Wisconsin Welcome Center knows nothing about. But the barmaid in charge of cleaning rooms was on vacation that weekend, so no rooms were available.

Domination troops stayed at the Stagger Inn for one touchdown, and then departed for the Kettle Moraine mission. This was probably a good strategic decision, since Green Bay won the game 40-27.

As for the Kettle Moraine State Park...

Domination leadership was then faced with a strategic choice. All local intelligence indicated, best lodgings were east toward Interstate 43. However, most desirable strategic objectives were west, toward the Hoard Historical Museum and National Dairy Shrine. The village of Whitewater, Wisconsin was chosen as the evening's target, due to its westward placement near strategic objectives, and to intelligence indicating the presence of a brew pub and two bed and breakfast inns.

Upon arrival in the village, it became obvious that the brew pub and the B&Bs were separated by two miles. But (unknown to the State of Wisconsin) the brew pub was across the street from a Super 8 motel. After some negotiation over the concept of a "quiet room" and its availability during a period of minimal occupancy, Super 8 was chosen as evening barracks.

A short cavalry exercise was then conducted, revealing the presence in town of a bike trail and a Sunday night comedy club. Evening mess followed at Randy's Brewery, which provides fancy meals, and huge salads which preclude all other eating. It seems likely, no further Domination exercises will be conducted this evening.

Day 3: Monday 25 October 2004

Domination armor moved out in good order at around 10 am, to secure the next objective: Fort Atkinson, home of the Hoard Historical Museum and National Dairy Shrine. Unforunately, resistance was encountered; said museum and shrine is closed on Sundays and Mondays.

Domination forces then maneuvered around Fort Atkinson to conquer some secondary objectives, including the Panther Intaglio Indian effigy mound. Said mound is actually hollow, roughly the shape of a lizard, the length of the Domination's own armored vehicle, and the depth of the Dominator's boot. A hike up the mound was therefore out of the question.

Maneuvers were complicated by extensive construction on highways in and around Fort Atkinson. Domination forces wound up unexpectedly in the nearby village of Jefferson, and took the opportunity to conquer some "Dos Equis" beer and "El Chaparral" chicken enchiladas for lunch.

After lunch, the Domination selected the neighborhood of Aztalan as objective; intelligence indicated the presence of a bike path, a state park, and a museum. The objective was partially secured, but there was some opposition.

  • The Aztalan state park contains some Indian mounds which actually deserve hiking, plus some reconstructed palisades of an Indian village. Domination forces used armor, cavalry, and infantry tactics to secure the whole grounds.
  • The Aztalan museum repelled the Domination's assault. It is a small pioneer village... closed throughout October until April.
  • The bike path is gravel on dirt, and is nicely navigable by Domination heavy cavalry. However...
  • Domination forces reassembled after operations, and retreated to a full-service and relatively cheap Quality Inn on the fringe of Madison, Wisconsin to regroup.

    Assault on Fort Atkinson to be renewed tomorrow, before return of Domination expeditionary force to EilerBase Scumburg.

    Day 4: Tuesday 26 October 2004

    Domination troops observed a brief morning mess hall, then moved against the Hoard Historical Museum and National Dairy Shrine in Fort Atkinson. There was practically no opposition today, and objective was secured by 10 am.

    Before exiting town, Domination forces conquered some cheese curds at the local Citgo-Mart. For the record, cheese curds look and taste just like cheese, only in small chunks instead of large blocks. The Domination chief nutritionist, feeling that cheese curds alone are insufficient for lunch, located some catfish and Leinenkugel health tonic in roadhouse "Owl's Club" on State Road 26, and fed the troops.

    Domination of Eiler forces now return triumphant, all praise to the One Maker.

    (signed) S. Dominator Eiler for the Domination of Eiler.