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Hooray for World Domination!

Domination of Eiler

2011 Northwest New Year Blog (#29)

January 2011 - December 2010

The New District of Dominance

In This Episode:

What Is the Domination of Eiler?

Oh, just treat it like another pretentious web log.
At least until you get to know it better, citizen. This web log wants to conquer the world.
Educational links are provided at the top of the page. RSS feed available at .
Hello and welcome to the Domination of Eiler!

30 January 2011

Talk Back!
Communications Update
A bit of saved-up news, and a possible new venue for the Domination's important writings.

In general, life in the Domination of Eiler has been normal. Work, eat, sleep, and so on. But there's still a month of world domination status to share.

  • The Giftmas project to re-create the Civil War with Virginia on the Union side, has made it to late 1862. So far, the main difference is Virginia. The general Union slowness of command is preventing other changes. Having a load of Virginia generals in the Union would have been great for tactics, but if anything the high command would have been even slower, not faster.
  • The Dominator's transferring ever more of his music onto the Conquering Cell Phone. The recording effort is now slogging through The Bangles.
  • The Domination's fitness staff has now taught aerobics classes in three time zones. The Clubhouse of Dominance itself (at the Dominator's apartment complex) hosted the most recent class, when the regular kickboxing instructor couldn't make it. This might become a regular gig.
  • The Domination's musical force has managed to avoid playing a harmonica in church, but only barely. That effort had gone so far as to transcribe and practice a harmonica part for "Just a Closer Walk With Thee". But some of the allies didn't show up for church, so the Lutheran worship team needed a male singer more than it needed a harmonica.

In former times, this month of status would have been worth four bulletins. But now, many of the Domination's announcements get diverted onto modern-day social media.

  • At the time of the Declaration of Domination in 2004, communication standards were considered. Back then, portable typing devices couldn't access Internet pages from practically anywhere. Now they can. Facebook in particular is soaking up a lot of the Domination writing.
  • The Fiction-Blog of Dominance is proceeding about as fast as ever. Whenever a new story gets published, a copy goes to Rec.Arts.Comics.Creative for review - and republishing with impressive production values. But the story's written itself into a corner that leads to the end of the world. It may be time to consder other story topics.
  • Whatever the topic, free web logs abound. Transferring the writing to one or more of these, may improve the circulation.

So, changes might be coming. This is the sort of New Year resolution that comes once every seven years or so.

25 December 2010

Talk Back!
Find Yourself a Mighty Domination
To the tune of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas".

For the first time since 1983, the Dominator has not traveled to visit relatives during the Travelmas holidays. That makes this season a very special Xmas indeed.

After work on Christmas Eve Eve, the Dominator worked out at the gym, and then stayed up way too late setting up an old U.S. Civil War boardgame. He's giving Virginia to the Union in 1861 for Giftmas, just like in his old story "The Siege of Raleigh"!

Christmas Eve at church with singers, of course. Half the singing team is observing Travelmas, so those who aren't were especially welcome.

Now it's Giftmas Day. The Dominator gave himself the gift of another workout. Then he could have stayed home, cooked a steak, and opened gifts... but the neighborhood pub is open normal hours! In other words, the town of Bothell-Washington is crying out for Domination this day. So, gifts can wait. The Dominator has gone out for lunch, brought gifts for the bar goddess, and swapped Christmas miracle stories with patrons. One went, "Hooray, nobody stole my truck last night!" The Domination of Eiler is for everyone, not just people who can keep track of their truck keys.

Merry Xmas, everyone.

12 December 2010

Talk Back!
The Earring Rebellion
The Dominator's body rises up against jewelry.

Last year, when the Dominator had a Consort, he had his ear marked with a token of his submission to womanhood, in the manner of modern straight men. That is to say, he got an earring.

According to the ancient Hebrews, earrings are a sign of submission instead of dominance. Servants used to get them when they signed on with their masters forever. (Exodus 21:5-6)

This relationship wasn't forever. The Consort is gone. But the Dominator kept his earring, for much the same reason he still keeps a Lynyrd Skynyrd bumper sticker as a reminder of a visit to Alabama. In the Domination of Eiler, we try to remember the past.

Two days ago, the earring stayed in but its clip fell out somewhere, lost forever. The Dominator faithfully grabbed a bit of eraser to keep his earring in.

Today the Dominator found a replacement clip at a jewelry shop for 20 cents. But the jewelry professional said, I can't put this in because your ear is bleeding. Indeed, the earlobe is infected. Erasers are not exactly sanitary.

So now the Dominator has no earring in his ear. By the time the ear heals, its earring hole will probably be gone.

This might be the end of earring use by command staff of the Domination of Eiler. The body has spoken.

Update: After some hours of no earring, the ear looked better. And friends advised, the best way to disinfect an earring hole is to put an earring coated with disinfectant back in. This was easier than expected without a professional's help, because after all these hours, there's still a hole. So now the Dominator has an earring again.

Still, this has made the Domination of Eiler consider its position on earrings. Earrings, like many things, require an ongoing commitment. If they're toxic once, give them another chance. But if they don't work in the end, live without them.

11 December 2010

Talk Back!
Strong to Bring the End of Days
Life with the Domination's new mercenary contract.

After Thanksgiving, the moving van finally came. Almost all the full force of the Domination of Eiler is assembled here in Bothell-Washington, and it isn't going anywhere else for the foreseeable future.

That means, among other things, the Dominator can systematically rip the 50% of his seventeen crates of CDs that he hasn't listened to in five years. The effort has now passed Lita Ford and Tripping Daisy. When it gets down to bands like Simon Magus and the Radical Scam (probably half a year from now), it may be time to start "retiring" CDs to charity.

The Domination of Eiler also "retires" things at work. Its mercenary force is on contract to help "retire" applications which don't survive phone company mergers. In the phone company world, "Retire" = "Bring the End of Days". The force spends much of its time granting safe-conduct to people evading the vigilance of the Domination's cyber-slave army, which is now on duty at the phone company to enforce "retirement" rules.

Social life in the new District of Dominance is increasingly pleasant. Last weekend was Partymas Weekend, hosted by local Lutherans. Now that the Dominator worships alongside Lutherans, he's an honorary Scandinavian and can eat all the pickled herring and Swedish meatballs he cares to - and drink lots of red wine punch, much like Russians do. The church Advent Festival was the next day; at least it wasn't a pageant.

It's nice to have a settled lifestyle which is both pleasant and lucrative. On those occasions when life is annoying, the Dominator can now remind himself, he has to be strong to bring the End of Days.

All Hail the Domination!

The Domination of Eiler believes in free sharing of information. But if you intend to reproduce significant parts of this commentary, be aware that it is copyright © 2010 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.