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Domination of Eiler

2010 More July Blog (#26)

July 2010

Late July 2010

The Frontline of the Domination of Eiler is now expanding every day. In This Episode:

What Is the Domination of Eiler?

Oh, just treat it like another pretentious web log.
At least until you get to know it better, citizen. This web log wants to conquer the world.
Educational links are provided at the top of the page. RSS feed available at .
Hello and welcome to the Domination of Eiler!

31 July 2010

Song of the Day: I Walk Along Darkened Corridors by They Might Be Giants
Talk Back!
Ocean Shores-Washington
For when the Pacific Coastal Highway isn't coastal enough.
Stick of the East Stick of the West
Left: the Atlantic in Maine. Right: the Pacific in Washington. Obviously different in some inexplicable way. See also:
  • Nature is Winning Here
  • All These Sticks, and None to Walk With
  • After Victoria-British Columbia, the Domination of Eiler found itself choosing between mountains and beach. The mountainous Olympic National Park was overrun with tourists... who wanted to see the nearby little towns where the "Twilight" vampire vs. werewolf movie was filmed. Well, then, beach it was.

    The side road "Moclips Highway" from Pacific Coastal Highway 101 took the expedition to the "North Beach" district of the Washington coastline, where the locals were very surprised to see a license plate from Illinois. The town of Moclips itself provided fine lodging (and expensive dining). Then the larger town of Ocean Shores provided finer lodging and cheaper dining.

    • Town museums, partial. Moclips not open before 11 am, which is wrong for leaving town. But Ocean Shores was open, with lots of seashore artifacts to show the children.
    • Beaches, conquered.
      • Hotels in both towns were within staggering distance of the beach - but people drive up and down the shore instead, which kind of reduces the ambiance. In Ocean Shores they declare the beach a public road. The view's actually better from the hotel room, with dunes in the way of the parking but not in the way of the ocean.
      • Down the pointy bit of land from Ocean Shores, though, the road is crumbled out and the seashore changes shape every year. There used to be a ferry across the harbor, but they can't afford to dredge the marina any more. Nature is winning there.
      • Driftwood clogs each beach. They have advisories about logs at high tide - and about swimming in general, because of riptides and hypothermia. And It's hard to find a proper stick among the driftwood; the logs are either too weak or too big. Still, one stick was conquered.
    • Lunch was of varying expense at restaurants. (Beware Irish pubs!) But cheap dinners were conquered. The hotel room was a Domination-grade ocean-view apartment with kitchenette - and Korean grocery on site. The proprietor complimented the Dominator on his choice of curried squid with Ramen noodles for in-room dinner.

    Weather is cloudy and misty each day, with high and low temperatures both in the 50s - which is colder than either Greenland or Labrador this time of year. Fine. Might as well enjoy the advantages of coming all this way.

    28 July 2010

    Song of the Day: I Feel Love by the Blue Man Group
    Talk Back!
    The Assault on Victoria-British Columbia
    The Frontline of the Domination of Eiler has reached the Pacific Ocean.
    Ferry Canadian Mile Zero
    Mountains in the distance, and the end of the road. See also:
  • The Royal British Columbia Feces Collection
  • They Call the Local Rich Man's House a Castle
  • Inside the Statehouse... er, House of Parliament
  • From Spokane-Washington, the Domination of Eiler had to decide how best to advance against the island city of Victoria-British Columbia. A southerly route was chosen, so as to cross the shortest possible body of water to get there and thereby take advantage of copious ferry services, plus retreat upon things that might be fun to see instead of just downtown Seattle.

    The Domination of Eiler has dropped into Seattle before, during the 1980s and 1990s. Traffic has increased drastically since then.

    • Coincidentally, the newspaper USA Today this week declared the twin traffic hellholes Minneapolis and Seattle the most traffic-progressive cities in the country, for doing everything they could, short of actually decreasing town population or increasing road capacity... Whatever.

    After Seattle, cities of Tacoma and Port Angeles each presented themselves as targets worthy of a night's occupation.


    • State history museum, check. For once, the state museum is not in the state capital (Olympia).
    • Brewery, check. Conveniently across the street from the history museum.
    • Cheap hotel, check. But this Rodeway Inn has issues with phone, internet, and TV. Might have done better at scary-looking fenced-in family hotel down the street.
    • Art museum and glass museum, bypassed.
    • Spectacular snow-covered 14,000 foot Mount Rainier, bypassed. Does anyone ever hike it? If not, you can see it from everywhere anyway. (In the news this week, a professional mountaineer with rock-climbing gear dies on that "hike".)

    Port Angeles:

    • On the way to town, passed by town of Sequim with lots of elk X-ings. Eww, there must be lots of Squim from all those animal Shwings... Later found out, locals actually do pronounce "Sequim" as "Squim".
    • Town history museum, rebellious. Open 1 - 4 pm, Wednesday - Saturday.
    • Brewery, check. It disguises itself with Leinenkugel neon signs, but the Dominator's mighty beer sense found it anyway.
    • Cheap hotel, well, no. Domination forces were afraid to come to town without a reservation, so got a room at Super 8 at the Richard Petty discount rate of $95 per night. Family hotel down the street would have done much better.
    • Spectacular snow-covered Olympic Mountains, awaiting conquest. But first, Victoria.

    From Port Angeles, there's a choice of ferry boats to Victoria. For its assault, the Domination chose the cheap fast boat that does not hold automobiles. The Domination's assault bicycle "War Machine" crossed over on the ferry.

    • Ferry boat, conquered. Morning seating was full, requiring the Dominator to share his preferential table / electrical outlet seating with a family of seven. Oh well. We all got up to see the view anyway.
    • Provincial history museum, conquered. Open shortly after the first ferry boat arrives. $12 or so after discount, but it and its outbuildings will keep even a crack force of museum raiders occupied for at least an hour.
    • Local rich guy mansion, rebellious. They were open but wanted $14 with no discount! Bypassed.
    • Bike ride with spectacular views, conquered. One point of land revealed, both U.S. and Canadian mainlands were cloudy but Victoria's island was sunny with Domination Effect weather. At this point The Damned took over the portable music player and tried to make "I Just Can't Be Happy Today" the Song of the Day, but that just didn't happen.
    • Statehouse... er, Provincial Assembly, conquered. Free 30-minute tours every half hour, or just walk through yourself!
    • Military museum, bypassed. Maritime museum, bypassed. Scenic gardens, bypassed. This really is a target-rich environment for Domination, so the assault had to declare priorities... Ice cream, conquered.
    • Breweries, two out of three. One put itself on the tourist map; one hid; one revealed itself when the Dominator followed directions from the brewmaster of Port Angeles and then asked the locals.
    • The local hat store even stretched the Dominator's hat for free! On ferry boats the Dominator wears a Tilley nautical hat, which comes with a lifetime guarantee - now in its second generation of hat lives.
    • Return ferry trip, conquered - despite opposition from one pissy American alpha male who tried to enforce queue order against hapless foreigners when even the Dominator conceded queueing was unenforceable. Hey, we're all on the same boat anyway, right? ...As his karmic reward, the Dominator got a private table / outlet / chamber / restroom in the bow on the way back. It really wasn't crowded enough to start a fight over.

    Well, this has been the prize day of the last four years or so. Short of going to Alaska, this day has been the finest possible expression of the Domination of Eiler. So it's time for Dinner of Champions, then spend the foreseeable future hanging out near scenic coastlines and national parks. All Hail the Domination!

    25 July 2010

    Mini-Musical of the Day: Horsell Common and the Heat Ray, Horton Hears a Who, and Hosanna from War of the Worlds, Seussical, and Jesus Christ Superstar
    Talk Back!
    Spokane Valley-Washington
    Mountains, desert, two cities in between, and a suburb in the middle.
    Coeur d'Alene Spokane Spokane Valley
    Coeur d'Alene has scenery - and traffic. Spokane has history. Spokane Valley survives in between. See also:
  • Coeur d'Alene Has a Museum... 1970s Style
  • Spokane Found a Cheap Way to Fill A Display of Indian Artifacts
  • Spokane Then Paid to Display Underwear
  • Coeur d'Alene-Idaho and Spokane-Washington are practically twin cities, in adjacent counties - much like Dallas and Fort Worth in Texas. Coeur d'Alene is scenic and faces the mountains. Spokane is practical and faces a desert, but has an active downtown area.

    In between lies Spokane Valley, an east-Spokane suburb. This is cheap, compared with those other places. There lies EilerBase for this weekend.

    Friday morning, after Wallace-Idaho, the Domination's expedition made it into Coeur d'Alene (pronounced "Cordalene"). Massive opposition from traffic; Coeur d'Alene is on a lake and therefore attracts tourists. Local museum was nonetheless conquered, thanks to logistical support from local brewery which the Dominator's beer-sense found before finding local visitor center.

    Cheap hotel arranged in advance for once, in Spokane Valley. Neighborhood ambiance is miles of pawn shops. Neighbors at this hotel come from Arkansas, are here for weeks at a time, and like to sit outside the room in the evening. And this is at a chain hotel. Oh well, that's what it's like to live cheaply.

    Saturday morning, invaded Spokane-proper by bicycle - on a 25-mile round trip bike ride.

    • Art museum, check. Minor content about history. The main attraction was artistic displays of decorated underwear from a Latino artist who grew up in a boxcar in the 1930s.
    • Historical mansion, check. This is nearby the art museum, and has combined admission with it.
      • Its tour is infuriatingly long, and gives loving detail to things that in the Domination of Eiler can be summarized as: "Victorian. Couch house, basement, ice room, wood chute, dumbwaiter, kitchen, dining room, girly parlor, giant living room, giant porch, master bedroom, child bedroom, two guest bedrooms, servants' quarters"... Well, yes, it was big.
      • But this house came up with something new: "Victorian man cave". Back then the Governor of nearby Idaho would visit, go down a nicely-decorated stairway to a nicely-decorated room in the basement, play poker, and enjoy the secret liquor stash of the man of the house. The woman of the house was an alcohol prohibitionist, hence the rare Victorian man cave.
      • This mining baron of the Victorian era paid people to have his wife's lace trimmings detached, properly crimped, and sewed back on every Monday when the laundry was done. No wonder the miners struck.
    • Brewery, check. Spokane has a brewpub, conveniently near a bike trail. But that trail is aimed at Idaho, not at Spokane's eastern suburb. Going in and out of Spokane from Spokane Valley on bicycle required the use of main roads and was adventurous.
    • Suburban history museum, back in Spokane Valley, check. Spokane Valley has its own museum - nestled in a strip mall, near a tavern! It's all artifacts, so ask the staff for the real history. It actually got its first settler before Spokane-proper did!

    Good thing the Domination conquered the Spokane attractions today. These are all open Wednesday-Saturday. Funding cuts, y'know.

    Sunday will be a traditional Domination day of rest, including church service at a traditional suburban church, and Sunday dinner at one of many sports pubs along the main strip in Spokane Valley.

    Next week, the hammer of Dominance comes down on the Pacific. The main question is, where to stay in Bellingham-Washington while raiding Victoria-British Columbia?

    22 July 2010

    Songs of the Day: Hobo Humpin Slobo Babe by Whale and Hocus Pocus by Focus
    Talk Back!
    Life in a canyon town.
    Great Fire Mine Tour
    Bordello Super Friends
    Trees, mines and whorehouses made this town great. All-terrain vehicles are trying to keep up the tradition. See also:
  • When Trees Went Bad, Firefighters Hid in This Mine
  • This Mine Tour Has A Real Canary
  • Mine Tourist Picture!
  • Uh Oh, All Terrain Vehicle Festival
  • After the morning in Missoula, the Domination's expedition crossed into Idaho and invaded the Pacific time zone. Montana has Big Sky, where the mountains stand in the distance and look barren but pretty. Idaho has Little Sky, where the mountains bristle with trees and nestle up against the river, and the road has to squeeze in between. That is to say, people live in canyons.

    First place in Idaho to submit was a history museum in Mullen, named after one Army officer Mullan who helped build the first road there. Next came Wallace-Idaho, home of hotels, attractions, and even a brewery. Wallace has some spectacular targets and has taken more than one day to conquer.

    • Mining museum, bypassed. Railroad depot, bypassed. These are the sort of places every small town has. But Wallace has more.
    • Bordello museum, check. This one was active through the 1980s, so the decor is classic 1970s. The workers and their families actually donated their personal effects, right down to the dirty dishes in the sink.
    • Hiking, check. The Idaho Panhandle National Forest has a trail dedicated to the Great Fire of 1910, and to a firefighter who led his crew to safety in a mineshaft. They still name firefighting axes "pulaskis" after this guy.
    • Mining tour, check. They mined silver here until recently, and the tour guide was a miner who liked his job (though he wished the lucrative smelting part hadn't gone to Mexico). The region still has valuable silver mines.
    • Brewery, check. Wallace has its own brewery! It follows Montana rules and serves beer without food, but other restaurants in town serve its beer.

    After considerable negotiation, a cheap room in town was conquered. An All-Terrain Vehicle convention is snapping up most of the rooms, and acting like redneck senior citizens in general. Oh, well.

    This probably beats the next target: Coeur d'Alene-Idaho, for which the nearest practical hotel room is Spokane Valley-Washington. The weather forecast for Spokane this weekend is 90 degrees with dust showers. This actually makes it great for a weekend of Dominance, because tourists won't be going there.

    The Domination of Eiler believes in free sharing of information. But if you intend to reproduce significant parts of this commentary, be aware that it is copyright © 2010 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.