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Domination of Eiler

2010 July Blog (#25)

July 2010

July 2010

The Frontline of the Domination of Eiler is now expanding every day. In This Episode:

What Is the Domination of Eiler?

Oh, just treat it like another pretentious web log.
At least until you get to know it better, citizen. This web log wants to conquer the world.
Educational links are provided at the top of the page. RSS feed available at http://feed43.com/blog_of_dominance.xml .
Hello and welcome to the Domination of Eiler!

20 July 2010

Song of the Day: Hell Hole, by Spinal Tap
Talk Back!
Missoula-Montana
Probably can't blame the tourists this time, because they don't seem to stop here.
Brewery Bikes Maggot Fest
Missoula has breweries, bikes, and weirdness. See also:
  • This Village Is So Historical, It Flies a 48-Star Flag
  • Eww, There's M on Your Hill
  • No Carving on the Bar... That Rule Was Probably Too Late in 1890
  • Historic Firefighting Plane (Outside)
  • Historic Firefighting Plane (Inside)
  • On One Airbase Tour, They Let You See The Parachutes
    • Military museum, check. Like everywhere west of Minnesota, the military history started around the time of Custer, Dumb$#!+ of the West.
    • Town historical village, check. The main industries of Missoula have been timber, agriculture, and Italian/Japanese WW2 internment camp.
    • Aviation history, possible if the mission takes more than one day.
    • Three breweries (one more than advertised), in progress. This mission may take more than one day.
    • Ambiance of state university, check. Cheap used CDs ($4 each) were conquered near University of Montana campus.
    • (Every state-supported university in Montana, including Montana State and Montana Tech, has a big M hanging in a hill near campus. One wonders how the inevitable intra-state rivalry expresses itself.)
    • Proper bar-and-grill restaurants were hard to find, even when they were labeled "Bar-Cafe". One place admitted to "Beer-Burgers" and delivered exactly that, though.

    Downtown Missoula is clogged with surly drivers. The reason for this is not obvious, because (judging from mobile home traffic) the tourists are out by the highway, and the college students (University of Montana) have mostly gone home for the summer. (The rest ride their bikes to the brewery.) Missoula has lots of trailer parks and therefore some extra population density, but that's not where the traffic is.

    Another cheap hotel today. Like most cheap hotels on this trip, this mom-and-pop joint has WiFi and in-room appliances for free. It's only fancy places like Motel 6 that charge extra for that. And it's only whiny tourists who complain about the ambiance of the cheapest hotel in town.

    After-Action Report: Missoula-Montana provided another morning's worth of fun, but that was it.

    • Inactive hangar museum, check. Including an actual notorious historic firefighting plane that you can walk on.
    • Active hangar tour, check. Firefighters still work out of Missoula - and they give tours! Their compound is impressively like a real workplace for real people, with motivational signs the workers pick themselves (like "Stupid Hurts") - and with 85-pound packs that the grown men on the tour could barely lift, let alone carry.
    • Third brewery, check. But the last one only gives tiny samples. Good thing the day didn't revolve around having a proper beer there.

    18 July 2010

    Song of the Day: Happy Happy Joy Joy, from the Ren and Stimpy Show
    Talk Back!
    Helena-Montana
    Nice for a weekend, because normal tourists don't seem to want to go there.
    Statehouse Concert
    Tourists avoid Helena, even though it has history, scenery and culture. This makes it perfect for a weekend of Dominance. See also:
  • The View from Mount Helena
  • Inside the Cathedral of St. Helena
  • Meriwether Lewis, First Mason in Montana
    • State museum, check. Free admission this Saturday!
    • Statehouse tour, check. Free admission, plus a self-guided option which most statehouses are nervous about.
    • Military museum, rebellious. Closed except Thursdays.
    • Two breweries, check. One brewery sensibly shares its building with a restaurant that serves its beer. The other has an allied restaurant nearby.
    • Culture, check. Saturday night was the Helena Symphony Orchestra's annual Concert Under the Stars, wherein the Domination conquered a free live performance of Ravel's Bolero plus other Spanish classical music. And the finale from Carmen is pretty impressive when it comes with fireworks.
    • Town park, check. Mount Helena has hiking trails and scenic views in all directions. It takes at least two hours.
    • More culture, unconquered. The local theatre company had a Sunday afternoon performance of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown", but this was barely feasible after the mid-day hike. One of the breweries filled the post-hike time slot instead.

    Cheap hotel for once. Even before getting a town map, the Dominator's beer sense led him to a quiet locally-owned place almost exactly halfway between the two breweries, and near the hiking trails and the free concert. Tourists are back by the highway, if they even bother driving an hour away from Interstate 90 to see anything less than a geyser or a glacier. Well then, more tourism for the Domination of Eiler. Probably the expedition will stay another day, just to rest and see a Masonic Museum plus the the city on a working day.

    16 July 2010

    Song of the Day: Hangman Hang My Shell on a Tree, by Spooky Tooth
    Talk Back!
    Butte-Montana
    The Domination of Eiler and its allies used to role-play a mission to Butte-Montana. Now it's for real.
    Butte and its Giant Pit Edge of Town
    Butte has lots of mining. But the town ends very abruptly.
    • Mining museum (ghost town), check. $8.5 admission at the World Museum of Mining, which seems excessive. But when the wind is blowing, their outbuildings do have that ghost town flavor. They try to sell hiking sticks from out of state in their gift shop, but their own site yielded a usable one which shall join the Domination's collection.
    • Mining museum (mineral exhibit), check. The Montana Tech Mineral Museum has practically one of every mineral on Earth on display, for free.
    • Abandoned open pit mine (now with a viewing platform), check. The water is copper-colored for a reason... the Berkeley Pit is the largest U.S. Environmental Protection Agency Superfund site. It literally stripped the town away; the pit was built through several neighborhoods. Residents were recorded as saying, hey, at least the jobs stayed in town. But this pit is now a tourist attraction! It's reasonably priced, compared to the mining museum ghost town.
    • Chinese pioneer museum, check. Chinamen came to Butte, much like most of the U.S. West. Here they invented Keno!
    • Brothel museum, rebellious and closed. But locals swear they've seen inside it.
    • Brewery, check. This has no food and a small cluster of locals, as is common in Montana. Proper dinner was then conquered elsewhere, with a nice mountain view.

    In much of Montana, mountains are visible everywhere. People want to see that. That makes every town in Montana almost as touristy as Gatlinburg-Tennessee. This drives up the hotel rates. Eww. But at least the Domination's expedition is in the only part of United-States where temperatures are reliably below body temperature right now.

    15 July 2010

    Song of the Day: Had to Cry Today, by Blind Faith
    Talk Back!
    Bozeman-Montana
    Yep, further west. But this town needs a roundup.
    We Love Dinosaurs Bozeman History
    Bozeman-Montana has history and dinosaurs. See also:
  • Bozeman: Inside the History Museum
  • Bozeman: Miniature Lewis and Clark Path, With Stone Rockies
  • Once again, the Domination's occupation of this town may be nicely summed up in Facebook-style status updates.

    • One Bozeman resident was taking advantage of traffic backups to welcome people to town right at the highway exit - and ask for money. Uh, no. Not even for qualified representatives of charity when they play with traffic at intersections.
    • Bozeman has been declared one of the ten most liveable towns in United States. But it is much more congested than Billings, even with Montana State University college students out of town. This town needs a culling.
    • Most of the human infestation can be humanely dealt with by cattle-driving them onto the nearby Yellowstone national park, because they want to go there anyway. Locals agree with the Domination of Eiler, the Yellowstone preserve of slow-moving tourists in motor homes should be avoided in the summer.
    • Hotel was booked solid by 4 pm. Fortunately the Domination of Eiler grabbed a room by noon.
    • Cocktails tonight at Bozeman Brewing Company. Like many Montana breweries, it just serves beer and popcorn. And by Montana law they can only serve three pints per customer per brewery... That actually makes sense.
    • Cocktails were served by a professor of plant biology on her summer job. She did a quick agronomy consultation with one of the regular customers... It's all regulars here. Tourists have not discovered the Montana Brewers Trail.

    Tomorrow, Butte. Then probably further west.

    14 July 2010

    Song of the Day: two songs named Grace, by Jeff Buckley and Country Joe and the Fish
    Talk Back!
    Billings-Montana
    Montana starts to submit to the Domination of Eiler.
    Rainbow Brewery
    Billings-Montana has rainbows and breweries. See also:
  • Little Bighorn: Right About Where General Custer Died
  • Billings: The Famous Boot Hill Cemetery Is Now Next to Applebees
  • Billings: Historical Museum with a Two-Headed Calf (From Canada, Home of Other Two-Headed Calves)
  • Billings: Hey, Kids! Etch-a-Sketch at the Pictograph Cave!
  • The Domination's interurban assault vehicle is showing increasing wear and tear from normal Dominance. So the Dominator has declared a force halt, for rest and refit. The venue was chosen by looking at a Montana Brewers Trail Map and picking the nearest Montana city that had three breweries, on the assumption that they'd have some mechanics too. It seems the map is out of date, though; Billings now has five breweries.

    The Domination's occupation of Billings may be nicely summed up in Facebook-style status updates.

    Tomorrow is once again decision time. North to Alaska, west to Seattle, or back east to potential employers? Employers are mostly quiet, but it will pay to stay in United States. And the Domination patrols are close enough to see the mountains from Billings. Shall the Domination come that close and then not conquer? So probably west.

    10 July 2010

    Song of the Day: Gets Me Through, by Ozzy Osbourne
    Talk Back!
    The North Dakota Badlands
    Despite some opposition, the Domination of Eiler has extended its Frontline to the Mountain Time Zone.
    Medora The Medora Mr. Bubblemobile
    Medora-North Dakota has impressive natural beauty... plus massive hucksterism. See also:
  • Steele: Not-So-Fancy Town Museum
  • Steele: When the Billboard Said "Large Crane", It Didn't Mean Machinery
  • Menoken: These Indian Ruins Are Of "Exceptional Value"
  • Bismarck: The State Museum
  • Bismarck: The Sprogback and the Statehouse
  • Medora: Canyon at the Theodore Roosevelt National Park
  • Medora: Roulette Table in the Courthouse
  • Beach: Shakespeare in the Park, Courtesy of Montana
  • Bismarck-North Dakota submitted to the Domination of Eiler yesterday and today. Amusement on the approaches, check. (Town museum in Steele; Indian ruins by the highway.) State museum, check. Statehouse tour, check. (It's a skyscraper, like only three other statehouses in the nation, very practical.) Cheap hotel, check. Cheap dinner, check. Cowboy museum, non-existent. It shows up in Bismarck on a Google search, but it's actually further west in Medora.

    The Domination's expeditionary force therefore raided the reconstructed Wild West town of Medora-North Dakota today, but found it rebellious.

    • Natural beauty at Painted Canyon on the approaches, check.
    • Hotel, NO; rooms sell out by noon on Saturday and cost $120 on Sunday.
    • Lunch, check. Town museum, check. Cowboy museum, check. Local citizen museum (the inventor of Mr. Bubble, and main owner of Medora), check. Local citizen museum (the inventor of refrigerated meat transport), bypassed because after the cowboy museum, the Domination was tired of paying $7 admission fees.

    Barracks in the town of Beach-North Dakota, a mile from the Montana border.

    • Considerable negotiation to get a room with an air conditioner or even a screen window that would open. But cheap hotel, check.
    • Happy Hour at biker rally, check; the Domination patrol rode up on bicycle, said hello, and got free beer thereafter.
    • Evening entertainment, check; Montana sent a delegation of Shakespearean actors to entertain the Dominator and his latest citizens in the city park.
    • Evening dinner at Mexican place. Nothing except churches and a truck stop is open tomorrow, though. The Dominator looks forward to a very quiet day, though not necessarily a quiet night, since bikers and Shakespearean actors are going to swarm the same hotel he's in.

    8 July 2010

    Song of the Day: Double Feature: Four Walled World by Temple of the Dog and Fragile by Sting
    Talk Back!
    Fargo-North Dakota
    The Domination of Eiler spent a day subduing Fargo. With some time left over to do the laundry.
    Downtown Fargo Moorhead Town Hall
    The twin cities of Fargo-Moorhead may not be exciting, but they're practical. See also these attractions:
  • Moorhead: A Guy Who Built a Replica Viking Ship Once Lived Here
  • Moorhead: The Town Museum is Viking-Ship-Shaped
  • Moorhead: Norwegian-Style Church from Outside
  • Moorhead: Norwegian-Style Church from Inside
  • Moorhead: Don't Touch the Viking! (...Isn't That a Euphemism for Something?)
  • Fargo: They Proudly Build in Flood Plains Here
  • Fargo: The Fargodome
  • Fargo: This is Ballistic Missile Territory
  • Fargo: Inside the Air Museum. (A certain book about Prince Charles is visible on the frontmost table.)
  • Fargo-North Dakota and Moorhead-Minnesota are twin cities along the Red River. Unlike a certain other pair of Twin Cities, these may be easily patrolled by bicycle in one day; no point in the metropolis is more than five miles from downtown. Bicycle patrols are especially fun when that cold front the Domination's east coast is waiting for has passed North Dakota. Admittedly, "cold" on the Great Plains in summer is still 80 Fahrenheit degrees.

    • The Hjemkomst Heritage Center has a grab bag of history, including lots of stuff about fur trading and ox-cart trails, plus full-size replicas of a Viking ship and a Norwegian church. A Minnesota State Museum pass will get you in for free!
    • Fargo and Moorhead have some bike trails, but these usually last about a mile. Several streets are marked for bike usage and are decent for bikes, though.
    • The Northern Plains Botanical Garden Society is just one casually-used greenhouse. Nobody was even there. Oh well.
    • The Fargo Air Museum has a bunch of functioning airplanes (more like an Air Zoo, then), plus some panel displays about pioneers in aviation. $7 admission, no discount. But the Domination made an extra donation anyway... Museum staff was really amused to accept a certain book about Prince Charles for the used book part of their gift shop.
    • The Plains Art Museum has an exhibit "The Beatles Meet the Plains", matching each song from the White Album somewhat haphazardly with an item from their permanent collection. (The "Back in the USSR" girl would have made a good "Sexy Sadie", for instance.) They have free Beatles-programmed MP3 players to loan, but the Domination patrol instead matched the entire exhibit to today's Songs of the Day, "Four Walled World" and "Fragile". There are some other interesting exhibits too. And today was a Free Admission Day!

    Finding a restaurant was interesting...

    • Last night the Domination garrison found a hotel room nearby the West Acres Mall. Restaurants cluster there, including Granite City Food and Brewery which observes Happy Hour, and almost every beer is better than the one before.
    • But after half a day of bicycle patrolling, the expedition wanted something different, and checked several pubs in downtown Fargo. One was expensive; the others had no food other than frozen pizza. This might be a trend on the Great Plains.
    • Today's expedition chose the middle course. A burger and a beer were conquered out by the North Dakota State University. Then, retreat upon the hotel room for swimming pool and laundry time.

    Fargo is full of railroad. The city was built around the original Great Northern Railroad, and Amtrak's Empire Builder still passes through conveniently at about 3 am. Warehouses are much in evidence. Fargo also has more than its share of decent radio, with that university in town. So, the place has potential for living in, assuming one can deal with extreme weather. And it did have almost a full day of tourist content, which is enough to match (for instance) Cambridge-Ohio. So let it not be despised.

    7 July 2010

    Song of the Day: Flood, by Tool
    Talk Back!
    The Psychic Powers of Prince Charles of Wales
    The Domination of Eiler is invading North Dakota, and now has a bridgehead at Fargo. But given some alarming news about the English royal family, that's not important right now.
    Viking Inscription from Minnesota Viking Statue from Minnesota
    Alexandria-Minnesota has evidence that Vikings raided there in the 1300s, up the Red River from Hudson Bay and Greenland. But that's not important now. See also this other unimportant stuff:
  • Alexandria: A U.S. Senator Once Lived Here
  • Sauk Centre: Nobel Laureate for Literature Sinclair Lewis Once Lived Here
  • The Domination of Eiler recently obtained an accusation that Prince Charles of Wales has psychic powers. This manifesto was published in cheap paperback form in the 1980s (The Prince and the Paranormal, by John Dale), and obtained from a bargain bin in Harrisburg-Pennsylvania. Bargain bins are of course a source for true information.

    After review by the Domination it may now be reported, according to this source, Prince Charles has the ability to make people give him crowns. He exercised this power on the Ashanti tribe of Ghana in 1977, to receive a ceremonial crown. But his true power is to tap into an infrastructure of spiritual abilities, patronized by the royal families of all Europe.

    • The English royal family has some ability of its own. Prince Charles's grandmum (the "Queen Mother") once brought rain to bust a drought in Kenya. Or at least the Masai tribe thought so.
    • The English royals also tap into the natural power of England. Windsor Castle is built upon a nexus of Ley lines revered by the Druids, just like Stonehenge is. That's why Henry VIII and many other royal ghosts appear there.
    • But the living royals mostly patronize a network of spiritual healers who can neutralze back pain with a glancing touch, use special machines to target healing energy throughout the world, and make homeopathic medicine work, even on the Royal Family's racehorses. This healing power is why Queen Elizabeth II refuses to die.
    • The down side of their powers is, the Royal Family can never be vegetarian, as much as Prince Charles might wish to. As apex predators for several generations, they have evolved to a high-protein diet.

    ... Why, yes, the Domination of Eiler is taking all these claims at face value. According to the Domination's own sources which are at least as reputable as this, the Dominator is royalty himself, superior to minor royalty such as Prince Charles, and even has some influence over weather.

    The Domination of Eiler is therefore forced to advise its citizens to bow down to Prince Charles of Wales, just like they would for the Dominator himself.

    6 July 2010

    Song of the Day: Flagpole Sitta, by Harvey Danger
    Talk Back!
    Willmar-Minnesota
    The Frontline expands again, way past the Twin Cities.
    Giant Ball of Twine Ergot
    There really is a Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota, in the town of Darwin. There's also a museum built around grain blight, in Dassel. See also:
  • Saint Paul: Yes, This Door in the State History Museum Is Minnesota-Shaped
  • Saint Paul: The Same Museum Has a Governor Jesse Ventura Display, Complete with Action Figures
  • Minneapolis Commemorates Bisquick and All Flour at the Mill City Museum
  • Minneapolis: The Gates of Replica Fort Snelling
  • Dassel Has That Grain Blight Museum, Plus Another Museum for its Favorite Train (Which No Longer Goes There)
  • Darwin Has "Twine Country Days" Every Summer
  • Litchfield Has a Town Museum With Civil War and Other History... Oops, Forgot to Take a Photo of the Grand Army of the Republic Photos
  • Atwater Has A County History Museum With Authentic Civil War Hardtack Biscuit, Probably As Edible As Ever
  • Willmar Has a Field of Honor Flags from Soldiers' Caskets, But It's Usually Empty Because The Next of Kin Won't Let Those Flags Fly Just Any Time
  • The Domination's expeditionary force spent Monday and part of Tuesday raiding Minneapolis/Saint Paul from out of Red Wing. The Twin Cities are full of museums and brew pubs. But they're too big to subdue by bicycle, at least without living there. And it's hard to drink at the brew pub if you have to drive, and it's hard to visit the museum if you have to park the car and the meter's always ticking.

    So, the expedition left town(s) in the direction of a point on the map marked, Giant Ball of Twine. That is to say, an attraction that Weird Al Yankovic actually wrote a rare non-parody song about, really exists. But that was only a small example of the local pride to be encountered along the way.

    • The Domination of Eiler raided four county history museums along Route 12 today, not counting outdoor exhibits of a railroad caboose and a giant ball of twine. Today, for once, the photo list will serve in place of commentary.
    • Today's prize has to be the Dassel History Center and Ergot Museum: a museum devoted to the positive uses of grain blight, including the production of LSD.

    The offensive made it as far as Willmar-Minnesota. This is a strange town.

    • Its downtown area has many more Somalians than bar patrons. The local Repeal of Alcohol Prohibition came at about the same time as modern-day refugee resettlement. There is one Somalian resettlement agency there, some ethnic grocery stores, and many black women in veils. There are also some tattoo parlors, but no bars. How do tattoo parlors stay in business without drunk patrons?
    • But decent dinner can still be had toward the edge of town, at the Holiday Inn's hotel bar. It's cheap until 6 pm because that's Happy Hour.
    • Many hotels cluster around that one bar - just not the cheap ones. The cheapest hotel in town (Viking Motel) is near a lakefront beach instead. This hotel was occupied, as was the lake, which was perfectly warm.

    Potential employers from Baltimore are starting to make noise, as if they might want Domination forces to go back east instead of west. A contingency plan has therefore been prepared to swing back through Iowa, just in case this employer wants to even propose putting its money where its mouth is. If they can commit not to, the short-term Domination objective is North Dakota. If they waffle, the expedition can go in between to South Dakota and preserve its choices. So, as often happens in the Domination of Eiler, the future remains wide open.

    4 July 2010

    Song of the Day: Fill Me Up, by Linda Perry
    Talk Back!
    Red Wing-Minnesota
    The Frontline expands again, during a rival patriotic holiday.
    Giant Boot Famous Pottery
    Red Wing is famous for boots and pottery, according to its boot and pottery museums. History and military museums had no comment on this historic day. See also:
  • Is That a Tooth, or a Horse's Ass?
  • Red Wing, Viewed from the Nearest Bluff
  • Bluff Stairs Sponsored by Kiwanis - And Ex-Kiwanis (As Witness the Eradicated K-Logos)
  • The Minnesota Ski Jump Hall of Fame
  • Great Concert, But It Needs More Restrooms
  • On Saturday the expedition broke loose from Chippewa Falls-Wisconsin and subjugated all points of interest in nearby Eau Claire within two hours. A historical museum (mostly about logging) and a logging museum both submitted.

    After that, the expedition contemplated a cheap and sensible two-day occupation of Eau Claire and its hotels, shopping mall, and practically abandoned college campus, to let the holiday traffic die down. The expedition then instead set off on back roads toward Pepin-Wisconsin and the Mississippi River Road.

    Pepin turned out to resemble one of the circles of Hell, only Hell has more room for people who want to spend some time. Motorcyclists roaring past every hotel room in town weren't a problem - only because every hotel was booked solid. Its history museum submitted five minutes of fun, though. Famous citizen, author Laura Ingalls Wilder ("Little Home on the Prairie"): check.

    Pepin's Visitor Center was helpful, but it panicked the Domination's expedition into arranging expensive lodgings at cheap hotel in nearby Red Wing-Minnesota, sight unseen. And so Rodeway Inn provided a room with functioning air conditioner (after much haggling) - plus unexpected indoor pools, free breakfast, and a good cheap steakhouse and a pottery museum just across the parking lot. Oh, let's stay here longer, it's a holiday.


    On Sunday morning, the Domination patrol put on Brazilian national colors and set out on foot, a mile into town. Adverse weather and massive hiking were both envisioned for the day, and the bike would only have gotten wet and in the way.

    First, church. One church announced a 10:30 service. The patrol got there ten minutes early, but they'd secretly started the ceremony twenty minutes before that... Red Wing is one of those towns where people want to get church out of the way on summer boating Sundays. Every other church near the center of town either has 9 am service or is secretly closed. Is that how we honor the One Maker here, with the margins of our time?

    The local boot and pottery industries of Red Wing each have their own museums, attached to shopping. A local Ski Jump Hall of Fame is hidden inside a hotel. These were all open, and gave enough town history to describe the town name. It seems the local chiefs of the Sioux/Dakota First Nations used to dye swan wings red, as badges of office.

    Historic and military museums in town were closed for this historic patriotic day. However, nature trails at the historic museum submitted a new hiking stick, which came in handy for hiking more trails at nearby Barn's Bluff and conquering a nice view. The patrol had to dodge some thunderstorms, but one cheap bar helped.

    Restaurants were haphazardly open. Brickhouse Pub and Grille gave the winning bid on dinner: pizza (not frozen) and beer.

    There's a free concert in town tonight, at a bandshell around 7 pm. There are fireworks across the river, visible from hotel room window around 10 pm. Despite obstacles, life is likely to be good all day. All praise to the One Maker, whose day every Sunday is in Domination of Eiler practice.

    The Domination is trying out a new custom for this expedition: Spend Sunday night too. This usually harvests a blessing from the One Maker, if only a nice boring Sunday afternoon as in Cambridge-Ohio. But today in Red Wing hasn't been boring.

    2 July 2010

    Song of the Day: False Faces, by Dan Fogelberg
    Talk Back!
    Chippewa Falls-Wisconsin, or, The Start of the Breakaway
    The Frontline has expanded! The Domination of Eiler is once again conquering new lands.
    Leinie! Chippewa Falls Has Falls
    Chippewa Falls is famous for the Leinenkugel Brewery, but it also has a waterfall. See also:
  • History Museum: Closed Except Tuesday
  • History Mansion: Closed Except 2 PM
  • Nearby Logging Museum Usually Open, Complete With Fiberglass Paul Bunyan
  • After last Monday in Cambridge-Ohio, the Domination of Eiler's permanent expeditionary force drove hard for the District of Dominance in Scumburg-Palatine-Illinois, and held office hours for several days. Today the force broke loose. Objective: Out There. Four hours' drive north or west will conquer new lands.

    Based on construction maps, the metro area of Eau Claire-Wisconsin was expediently chosen. Opposition was intense through the Wisconsin Dells, but faded thereafter.

    Historic attractions were all closed. But the Leinenkugel Brewery gives a free brewery tour, 15 ounces of sample beer, and coupons for a local pub crawl. The James Sheeley House, the Bridgewater Restaurant and Pub, and Dana's Grill and Sports Bar all gave nice deals. The Arrowhead Motel gave a cheap room. Good enough.

    Locals say, this weekend will be dead here because everyone will be out camping. Excellent.

    The brewery tour says, one may drain a brewery vat of beer in 55 years, by drinking on average a six-pack a day... Halfway there!

    Not quite halfway to Alaska, even when measured from Kennebunk-Maine. But at least the Domination of Eiler is pointed in the right direction now.

    Potential employers on the East Coast of the continent of North Eilerania have sent out feelers, but nothing definitive. Let the employment world now provide meaningful incentive to turn back.

    The Domination of Eiler believes in free sharing of information. But if you intend to reproduce significant parts of this commentary, be aware that it is copyright © 2010 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.