Startup for Me in the Marvel Universe
Hey, Kids! The very first Me In Comic Books stories are finally starting to come online! They divide naturally into these sources:
- Comic Book Parody. Me in the Marvel Universe, 1988 - 1994.
The original set of comic book plots.
- Me -1.
In 1985 I was two years out of college. That made me old enough
to be disillusioned about life in the real world, and young enough
to dream about doing something about it. In fact, I came up with
some pretty detailed plans, late at night when "normal" comic book
geeks would have been cataloguing the adventures of the Avengers
- The Me Wars.
When my employer
had a downturn in 1988, I had some free time to execute some plans.
So, inspired by the heroic rampage
of Iron Man during the Armor Wars, I go on a crusade to protect
the world from the technology I've worked on. And I've worked
on the MX Missile. In short, I emulate my idol Iron
Man and single-handedly invade Kamchatka in the Soviet Union to
destroy stolen MX technology and restore America's greatness.
- Inferno II.
One of those demon invasion/mutant
crossover things. I get recruited to lead a demon invasion of Manhattan and fight the X-Men.
But the invasion comes to nothing, because demons always fight among themselves.
Still, I get a curse placed upon me: "May your life be... interesting."
If It Comes From Hell, It's For Me.
A sort of team-up with the Ghost Rider, before it was even cool. I get to merge with the demon Zarathos, assume the Ghost Rider power, go to Alabama, and fight the Avengers, all to complete
my Me Wars crusade.
- DuoPolarity. My adventures
during what would much later be known as Marvel vs. DC.
- One Day in New York City. The universes survived that last one, but there's still a little cleanup to do.
- Weird Dreams. Hyperion Systems, 1989-1995.
My first set of comic book dreams.
They may not seem to fit the Marvel Comics motif at first...
but as of 2004 in my Marvel Universe, Reed Richards took his rocket flight in 1988,
so there weren't a lot of recent precedents on how to handle superhumans, so it fits. And as of 1989 in my Marvel Universe, the Fantastic Four started in 1979,
so the Gov was just looking for dependable superhumans on its payroll
who weren't ex-convicts.
- Introduction. What if you and your friends
suddenly got superhuman powers, and the government came to impound
you - but you were already defense contractors?
- Strange Invaders. It starts with a world
where the floors in all the skyscrapers are numbered starting
from 10. It gets weirder from there. And I get to help investigate.
Or is that "instigate"?
- Tarzan in Spag's Casino. Also featuring Siberian
tigers, trained dolphins in the town water tank, and the evil
High Priestess who wants to marry Tarzan and destroy the rest
- Spymaster vs. Howard the Duck. Good thing
this one takes place in a cookware factory. Conveniently near
the new Busch Gardens Prairie at the Indy 500.
- Invalidus. The Living Embodiment of Total
Quality takes on Jim Shooter, editor-in-chief of Marvel Comics.
- The Test. It's always interesting to take
a psychological test when it involves the Joker and Janis Joplin.
And this test could mean the end of the company.
- Omniverse the Card Game/Disjointed.
Work sucks (but we know that), so I've resigned.
But while I run a card game in a casino in
The Oversaur. It rules its world and absorbs
the power of all who challenge it. And it's coming for us. People
are fleeing to London to set up a resistance. (This is the kind
of dream I get when I read Harlan Ellison before bedtime.)
- Reorganization. Okay, so the government has
to live with us. Who can save them? Looks like a job for Captain
- Office Guests. Why is Magneto in my office?
Maybe it's because of the Antarctic anti-metal that finally destroyed
all metal in the world. (Author's Note: Antarctic anti-metal really
does exist in the Marvel Universe, and isn't just a figment of
- Angsty Adolescent Male Power Fantasy. The Balance, 1990 - 1992.
Developed from 1983 onward, as soon as I got out of college and bought my own computer to type it on. Reached its final form in 1990, as part of a superhero game campaign.
- Convergence. The world's only mutant (as far as he knows) makes friends for social justice and self-defense.
- Rationale. This impromptu superhero team fights military criminals.
- Faceoff. A duel within the team.
- Days of the Moon and Stars. The team fights a mystic threat to the region.
- Hemmed In. The team fights a drug dealer and his army of hopped-up slaves.
- I Dreamt That Evil Died Today. Another mystic threat makes the heroes confront their own dreams.
- The Stone. The team's original enemy strikes again.
- The Doom Bear. It's another mystic threat, but it's actually kind of cute.
- Into the Darkness. All the local enemies strike, in fatal manner.
- Sanctuary. Ultimate angsty fantasy in which power is practically irrelevant.
- Recovering Balance. The team reorganizes, with new allies.
- The Balance Returns. More numerous than ever, the superheros fight back.
- Double Feature: "The Rise of El Bozo" and "My Mutant Love"!
More Comic Book Parody. The Further Adventures of Me, 1991-1993.
My second set of comic book plots.
- Introduction. I've shamelessly followed
all the comic book trends I could, but I'm still missing some.
- You Think You Have Evil Twin Problems...
The comic-book Marvel Universe suffered a massive invasion of evil twins during
one of those Infinity War things. Are you sure they're all gone?
Introducing: Scum Death in the Marvel Universe!
- Seven Ways of Going. It's another Infinity
war thing. If you had the root password to reality, wouldn't you
try to be responsible with it?
- The Death of Me. A shameless attempt to boost
sales. It turns out not to be me who died; it's my DC universe counterpart
who pissed off the Joker once. And after that, I make a big return.
- Feel the Way I Feel. Marketing says I have
to team up with spin-off characters. But first I have to spin
some more off. Introducing the Scum Syndicate!
- More Weird Dreams. Omniverse, 1984-1997.
Alternate worlds I created mostly in my sleep.
- The Thunder War. 1984. What if the Russian government
had decided their country wasn't worth much, abandoned it, and
went all out to take the American continent instead?
- The Eye in the Pyramid. What if the Masons
really did want to take over the U.S.?
- Africa Ascendant. What if the Turks and
the Africans had teamed up while Europe was still weak? Adolf
Hitler would probably be a Mediterranean pirate, for starters.
- Hitler Gets Mellow. Speaking of Hitler, what
would have happened to him if he'd found himself a good Jewish
girl early on? Maybe leadership of NATO plus the Nobel Peace Prize.
- Union of the Snake. What kind
of priest walks openly down the street in an affluent Boston suburb
wearing bright red robes while people accuse him of being a Satanist?
Why, a priest in a Satanic country, of course.
- Kansas and Sirius are Burning.
The sequel to the Union of the Snake. The world dies by fire,
What if Poland ruled the world?
Of course, there's more, 'cause I'm just starting here...
Captain America, Iron Man, Ghost Rider, Spymaster,
Howard the Duck, Magneto, Inferno, the Armor Wars, and the Infinity
War are trademarks of Marvel Comics. The Joker is a trademark
of DC Comics. All other characters and concepts in this document
are copyright © 1996-2010 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.
And all the real people
in this document, including me, are really celebrity impersonators.
I'm really a guy named Wyatt Ferguson. So there.