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Holidays in the Domination of Eiler
The Domination of Eiler observes several holidays of note.
- Pavement Day. The great day at the end of winter, when the snow finally melts off the bike trails for the last time. This is the official start of the Domination's bike-riding season. Typically sometime in February in the District of Dominance.
- Total Confusion Weekend. Holiday in honor of role-playing games. Originally observed at the "Total Confusion" convention in Massachusetts in February, then at "GenCon" in Indiana in August. Various weekends in different locations throughout the Domination.
- Militia Day. The first day well into the spring, when the Domination's loyal bicycle militia comes out in force to join the Domination Guard in patrolling the bike trails. The unofficial start of bike-riding season. Typically sometime in April in the District of Dominance.
- Play Pants Day. The first day when it's so hot, the Domination Guard wears shorts while riding the bicycle. The official start of summer, even if it's in April. Typically quite soon after Militia Day.
- Tres de Mayo. Patriotic holiday for the Dominator's ceremonial birthday, similar to "Victoria Day" as observed in northern regions of the Domination. Holiday customs include:
- Dressing up in the best clothes from the thrift store.
- Listening to especially good loud music all day.
- Creating web pages. This web page (yes, the one you're looking at, citizen) came from the 2005 "Tres de Mayo" observations.
- A nice dinner for the Domination forces, plus cupcakes for representative citizens.
- Free Comic Book Day. Holiday in honor of pictorial literature. Holiday custom is to find the nearest comic book shops, and pick up some free comics that major publishers put out to attract customers. First Saturday in May.
- The Day of Glory. To celebrate the Domination's independence from major corporate patronage. Holiday custom is to embark upon a major life change. 25 May.
- Race Day. Holiday in honor of auto racing, as observed in and around Indianapolis-Indiana, Charlotte-North Carolina, and Monaco. The Sunday between 24 and 30 May.
- Domination Day. Patriotic holiday for the imperial day of the Domination, similar to its rival holidays "Canada Day" and "Fourth of July". This holiday derives from two July road trips:
Holiday customs include a road trip. Second Saturday in July.
- July 1983, the 1000-mile trip from Indiana to Massachusetts, to establish the independence of the Domination.
- July 2004, a short weekend trip in Illinois, during which the Declaration of Domination was drafted.
- Domination Flag Day. Patriotic holiday for the day the Domination of Eiler battle flag was first flown, in 2005 in the Core Territories of Illinois. Holiday custom is to fly the flag proudly, and make a gift of it to one's friends... for the low low price of $4 for a mini-flag or $40 for full size! You can e-mail the Domination's online store for specifics. 1 September.
- Halloween Friday. The Domination's annual costume party for its adult citizens. Always observed on a Friday, to facilitate a real party. Final Friday in October.
- The Time of the Darkflower. In late November in most of the Domination's lands, the sun is pale and the trees are bare, but it's not snowing yet and it's still beautiful out. So why not celebrate? The United States authorities who scheduled their Thanksgiving Day for that time of year, had the right idea. So the Domination of Eiler has its own holiday then too. Holiday customs include big dinners and a road trip. Either or both of the last two weekends in November.
- Xmas. The entire set of December holidays, as observed by the Domination's citizens. Described separately in much detail.
The Domination of Eiler allows its citizens to observe any other holidays they please, even the patriotic holidays of its rival entities such as "The United States of America". The Dominator even joins in these observances on occasion. However, all Domination support and observance for the following holidays is hereby rescinded.
New Year's Eve, Super Bowl Sunday, Fat Tuesday/Mardi Gras, St. Patrick's Day, and Cinco de Mayo. The professional drunks of the Domination have better things to do than go out on Amateur Drunk Night.
- Valentine's Day. The Dominator has avoided all entanglements which require him to go out on Compulsory Date Night.
- Mother's Day and Father's Day.
- The Dominator has outlived all his ancestors. (His dear old Grandaddy actually held out the longest.) Outliving people is something for each citizen to be thankful for, when they have that same luck.
- The Dominator has also successfully avoided entanglements with other people whom he has to call "Mother" (but not always Father). Which is also something for each citizen to be thankful for, when they have that same luck.
- Children's Sunday. Which is to say, the end of the Sunday School season every June. For nine months, Sunday school classes have been planning a pageant and having the parents make excuses so their children can skip class and still get gold stars for attendance on this day. How very nice for them, but the Dominator chooses to opt out of this ritual.