Me in a Superhuman World: Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 Tabloids Me Others . This Year: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec. Superhuman World 2007 Other People's Adventures in Comic Books I have adventures in comic books. We all do, even if we're just innocent bystanders, because most comic books take place right here and now. And whenever we go to sleep and then dream of adventures, we have one somewhere. Why not in a comic book? I'm having adventures this year. And they're worth talking about... somewhere else. But these are everyone else's adventures. For once, these stories aren't about me me me. But I'm still the one writing them. Don't ask me why the World Journal Monthly won't bring me on staff, they just won't. So for these stories, I'm the publisher too!

Mind Control Hum, Activate! A superhuman and a giant antenna play poorly together. Are the saucer aliens responsible?

• The government superhuman Captain Mighty has a job, rebuilding an armed forces base that he inadvertently destroyed. His handlers say it's good therapy for him. (7 Jan)
• It seems this base was one of those extra-low-frequency monitoring bases, with an antenna the size of northern Michigan and northern Wisconsin.
  • The U.S. Gov will admit the antenna runs throughout northern Michigan. This may be an understatement.
  • They'll also admit the antenna is meant for communicating with submarines. This may be an understatement also. Best guess is, aliens have been jamming it!
  • Why do the aliens care? In the manner of responsible peacekeepers, they've formed an inter-species alliance to patrol their galaxy. They've been diddling with Earth affairs for centuries, and they've had a peacekeeping force on our planet for almost two years now. Apparently they think the antenna is for broadcast too, and it'll interfere with the flying saucers!
• While the jamming is going on, the antenna may have some strange effects on the locals - and on visitors like Captain Mighty. (Ref. the "Kokomo Hum".) The U.S. Gov swears Captain Mighty is shielded now, but people aren't sure about that.
• After that incident, most of the county governments of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan declared their desire to break away and form their own state. The town of Stephens Point, Wisconsin wants to join that new state. (9 Jan)
• The U.S. Gov is suddenly very ready to start investigating the aliens. In fact, they're starting a crash project. This may lead to some strange things in my life.
(7 - 9 Jan)

Outpost Mongolia. U.S. agents are welcomed to the center of Asia - because villains got there first. (14 Jan)

• Last year, superhumans started messing up world politics. For starters, the world's most powerful superhumans signed a contract with India. Mongolia is next!
• Why Mongolia? It wasn't Mongolia's idea. Certain superhumans think it may be a good place to build the next world empire. After all, Mongolia came close to ruling the world once. The visitors have set up one of those villainous citadels.
• Russia and China are nearby, which should theoretically shelter the villains from American intervention. And the villains are betting the nearby superpowers are overrated, especially if a peasant rebellion gets going in China. The U.S. has not fought a civil war within the last 100 years, but Russia and China both have.
• Russia and China are not amused. They're saying Americans want to destabilize them. So the U.S. is sending agents to Mongolia. With, unintentionally, much fanfare involving ostriches (raised on a North Korean-sponsored farm) and war movies. It seems the news of the American intervention leaked out.
• Who's behind the plot? Nobody knows yet. I'm guessing overambitious mercenaries, Secret Masters of Evil, or both. They've been at it since last year.
• My brother was actually in on the plot at one point! But even he doesn't know how far up the plot goes.
• I thought the plot was silly at the time. It seems I underestimated the plotters. (14 Jan)

Dinosaur Island. Those darn black mages have been trying to bring back the dinosaurs - from out of the Dreamtime! This let them bring in things like flying manta rays, too.

• Why bring back dinosaurs? It's part of a contest: the Black Arts Festival every four years, sort of an evil Olympics of magic.
• This happened on a small island in the South China Sea. With people trying to destabilize China, the Chinese communist leaders are having a crisis and haven't decided how to intervene. (13 Feb)
• China's power may be indecisive, but the power of the ex-living members of the Balance has grown, so long as they dominate the realm of dreams. For instance, a line of Ellipsis romance novels was released for Valentine's Day. (14 Feb)
• So when evil mages had to be slapped down, the Dream Balance was there to do it. They herded most of the beasts back into the land of dreams. The Mighty Tim and Julie Wolcott/Morningstar had great rodeo fun.
• Some beasts refused to go back, though. Ellipsis found their minds a new home, with Kristi the Animal Girl. Then he blew up the island where the beasts had been created. The whole world dreamed of him doing that. (15 Feb)

The Saucer War. U.S. foreign policy is changing, because a war against the flying saucers is underway - tabloid style. (26 Feb)

• An alien peacekeeper-custodian of Solarians is fighting a superpowered alien army to get a sort of olive lemonade. His Solarian never had that before, and craves it. Solarians have weird tastes at times, and they are usually not to be denied. Sometimes they're even relevant to the mission.
• The U.S. Gov started looking into the alien presence on Earth last month, after their pet superhuman's mind got jammed. And they know where to find aliens, because Interstate Highway 180 goes straight to the North American alien spaceport!
• It hasn't made the news yet, but there was a considerable Homeland Security maneuver of National Guard forces in rural Illinois. One imagines a confused military incident at Hennepin, Illinois, and an alien mobilization in response. (Hmmm, is there a spaceport in Bratsk, Siberia?)
• Now the aliens are fighting back, the way they're famous for: abductions and crop circles throughout the countryside! But there's more in store.
• The ultimate alien peacekeeping device is a Solarian. Solarians are humanoid, but when in proper working order, they can grow to the size of a sun, then eat it. Compared with that, planets are crumbs. Who needs world-eaters?
• The aliens once had a Solarian in our solar system. But it went native; it spent several years boiling the rain out of the sky near Chicago O'Hare Airport, then walked away. The airport would love to find a replacement. But so would the aliens. The Gov knows there are more Solarians, because the aliens bragged about them during the last incident!
• And so the U.S. Gov finds itself needing urgently to confront another threat - that they don't want to admit! Suddenly, the U.S. Gov is more interested in negotiating with neighbor countries of Iraq than with invading them.
• This U.S. Gov for once is more interested in sanctioning superhumans than in repressing them. It's easier to send superhumans than brigades into space, after all. Despite what some politicians recommend, though, the Gov isn't drafting superhumans - because there are plenty of volunteers. Lots of superhumans want to fight aliens too, because they all know the aliens, and found them annoying.

Science fiction has lots of reports on how a war against aliens will be fought, when the aliens think like Earthly world conquerors. It remains to be seen how the war will go, when the aliens think like aliens from the news tabloids... which is what they are.

Fine Green Paste. Some superhumans have way too much "healing factor" for their own good, to the point where they can be regenerated from a fine pink paste. What if plants got those same powers and refused to stay eaten?

• Stonewater, the leader of the Earth's leading superhuman team "Total Conversion", has used a pickup truck to pound a mercenary named "Hard Falcon" into paste, then picked out a little white bit that might be useful for dental identification. Admittedly he dared her to.
• But Hard Falcon still has a message for Yon Schmidt, about a plot at a botany garden. Apparently the plot has something to do with surviving being pounded into paste. Some superhumans including Hard Falcon can do this. Botanists are thinking of transplanting that trait into plants. Which has some interesting implications for the consumption of vegetables.
• Yon trusts Hard Falcon, at least on this matter. And he works for Stonewater right now, despite her having accepted a contract with Coca-Cola.

What to do? Yon doesn't know. He's not going to just declare war on botanists for giving plants superpowers, though. What would you do, Gentle Reader? Yon's looking for opinions. (2 Mar)

Shootout. Some of our Heroes of the New Present have grudges from the old world. Fortunately they have protocols for resolving them.

• A man and a woman have stripped down to undershirts, challenged their enemies to a shooting match with each other as targets, and conceded first shot.
• The woman is Mary O'Hanrahan, rogue freelance peacekeeper in a battlesuit. She now has a comrade (not a boyfriend; Mary doesn't go that way) who used to wear a U.N. battlesuit.
• Apparently there are some grudges that go way back. And they try to fight them without the battlesuits.

It's good to know Our Superhumans can fight their duels without $#@!ing with the rest of us. But for their sake, I hope they're using rubber bullets. (3 Mar)

The Return of Private Danger. Runaways are encountering a World War II hero who calls himself "Private Danger". The old guy says he's been through a reality shift - and he's not really that old. (13 Mar)

• Private Danger is the only superhuman who survived World War II. His powers are all invulnerability. Other superhumans had more spectacular powers, but they weren't immune to gunfire.
• He was never highly motivated, so never got promoted to "Captain" like other superheroes did. Everyone assumes he went AWOL, toward the end of the war when he was close to Switzerland, on extended mission to investigate the hypothetical Nazi Alpine Redoubt. Maybe this is where he really went.
• His ticket to Scenic 2007 was a reality shift last year, wherein we were all still fighting Nazis. When we got out, he got out too.

The Return of Barbuda. A Caribbean island is having a security crisis and therefore started filming people in hotel rooms, but Sheryl Crow doesn't like being filmed there. (14 Mar)

• Back in the old reality, superhumans used to love having Caribbean bases. The island of Barbuda was infamous for it.
• Here in the new reality, the people of Barbuda have read up on its alternate history, and they're inspired. Not to be a supervillain base, just an out-of-the-way tourist resort. Sheryl Crow's on tour there.
• They're working really hard to defeat their alternate-universe reputation, though. They're even filming inside the hotel rooms, in case supervillains try to teleport in! Ms. Crow is not amused.

On the Edge of Space. There's a plane which skims moisture off the clouds for its pilot; it's in polar trajectory now. Congress and Parliament are both debating how to finance it. (2 Apr)

• The aliens may have the ability to circle the Earth and change orbits without limit, to shoot down satellites. Earthlings used to have the same power... but then we lost the DuoPolarity of Boston Challenger 2 spaceship. And we didn't get it back, boo, me.
• Now, Earth is working with what it has. Even with existing tech, they can build an upper-atmosphere craft that can suck in water and solar power. The only limit is the food supply... and they can make the pilots live like astronauts and eat powder. The craft may not be able to respond to aliens, but it can at least mount a telescope and back up the observers on the Space Station if something happens.
• There's a bit of debate in Congress on how to justify a fleet of these craft, though; it's not public knowledge that we have to be ready to fight aliens. Also, Parliament's kind of concerned about the U.S. abandoning its Middle Eastern goals. Speaking of which...

The Return of Saddam Hussein. The dead dictator's been spotted walking on someone's back, after being found in a hole again. Now that's an extreme massage. (24 Apr)

• Whaddaya mean, Saddam Hussein? Lately he's just as dead in this brave new present, as he was where I came from. Back there, he got killed while personally interrogating a Kurdish superhuman. Oops!
• But he had body doubles back there. Some of them were even combat robots - provided by aliens. Why not here, now that we have aliens fighting against Earthlings?
• Why walking on someone's back? Well, I doubt he really meant it as massage therapy. More like dominance behavior. Good thing it was a certain subset of Sunni Moslems who found him in the hole this time; no other faction on Earth would put up with that crap.
• We're pretty sure he's not back from the dead, though. And there are people who would know...

The People of the Graves. In our new present, there's a new Marvel cosmic comic named, "People of the Graves". It's actually pretty good. And it's based on reality. Our reality, that is. (7 Apr)

• Death's been running low on champions lately. For some reason, we either burn out or come upon mishap after a few years. I have some knowledge of this; I was once a Deputy Champion of Death, and one of my friends actually died after a mission for Death. Kind of ironic, I suppose.
• There's a Brotherhood of the Reconnaissance which has started exploring the afterlife. Perhaps they've made a deal with Death.
• The new agents of Death may be interested in hunting down certain suicidal killers, both in North America and throughout the world. When the Brotherhood of the Reconnaissance wants you, the grave gives no protection.

Telekinesis and the Prime Numbers. Someone's giving lessons on how to factor the number 300, thanks to telekinesis and a lot of marbles. (9 May)

• There's been a talented young telekinetic woman around for several years now. She's named Wendie. I invaded a junior high school with her once; I got captured by her once; and I got blood-tested alongside her once.
• Apparently Wendie's gotten her education degree, and moved to El Paso, Texas, of all places. There in the school district she can now put her more special talents to good use, by floating marbles in three dimensions, and teaching her students to organize them. 300 = 3 x 5 x 20, or 6 x 5 x 10, and so on. I wish my teachers had been that cool.
• But it seems one of her students has been sucked into something, and she might have to follow along. When she does, telekinesis isn't too much help.

Cyber-Strike. There's a new Secret War in virtual reality. And it might be Earth's last chance against an alien invasion.

• Aliens are blockading the Earth! The United States has informally acknowledged the loss of control of everything beyond what the Space Shuttle can get to. Which is to say, Earthlings can't get to interplanetary space any more. Who knows, the aliens might attack the Space Station next.
• Aliens are also doing mischief on Earth's surface, like sending mind control messages to unstable superhumans - and to humans with weapons. (Which explains some rogue shooters.) So there really is a low-level war on.
• The universe's mental unconscious (a.k.a. the Dreamtime) is an alternate route for Earthlings to strike back against the aliens. Some militiamen tried that last year. But that route's been blocked for several months now, by well-meaning Earthlings (superhumans now known as the "Dream Balance").
• But there's still alien cyberspace! Earthlings now control a computer system at the alien Spaceport Hennepin in Illinois. And as far as Earthlings can tell, the portal is still connected to the rest of the alien computer network. Aliens don't have a concept of "firewall"... yet.
• The interface to the alien computers is full-up virtual reality. In a crash program (ever since February, and it's May now), the Earthlings have figured out how to access it. Now, they're assembling a strike force of video gamers.
• In one of the video games, a boy puts on Dr. Doom skin, then pilots a flyer. As other characters fall off the back, the kid decides he doesn't want to be like Dr. Doom who would just let them suffer... He makes the cut. (8 May)
• This kid is the student of a public school teacher named Wendie. When he's recruited for the program, she points that legally, morally and practically, he needs some supervision from a familiar figure. And for whatever reason, his parents aren't in the picture. So Wendie's enlisted in the program too.
• A couple of gamers have a private feud and wash out of the program. But the survivors are about ready to start the next invasion. (9 May)
• But not yet. This might be Earth's last chance, and it had best work the first time.
• In the meantime, the Cyber-Strike team is housed in trailers, parked behind a non-descript truck stop near Lansing, Michigan. It's convenient to a virtual reality lab at the Michigan State University, but not so convenient that the team can just walk there for fun. For fun, there're video games and a big screen TV in the truck stop, but that's about it.
• Militiamen of the Patriotic Homeland Corps roam the perimeter dressed like bums. Nobody just walks by this truck stop... but if they do, they get confronted, with lots more "bums" suddenly showing up. Truckers who walk by the construction barricades around the trailers, get the same treatment. Wendie knows of militiamen near the border with Mexico, but they're nowhere near this creepy.
• And there's nowhere for the inmates to walk for escape - or even a bit of fun. Wendie knows, there could be mischief coming.

Somebody Else's Sandwich. Otherworldly villains are invading my world again. We're actually kind of busy right now, so let's just let them play through this time. (30 Jun)

• A couple of hokey otherworldly villains Pagan and Lord Templar are fighting. They rode in from another universe aboard some Sky Island. This sets off a collision of Sky Island, Asgard, Hades, and Subterranea; they look like an underground sandwich now. Maybe George Perez could draw it.
• Fortunately that's someone else's problem. My world is just a convenient launch point.
• My world has no subterranean kingdom with ferocious mole-dwellers... at least not that the World Journal Monthly can give a credible report on. Closest thing is, an underground festival from Hell.
• Also no Asgard here. We have our share of demigods, but they live in the Dreamtime, and there aren't enough modern dreams of Asgard to make it viable there. Besides, Odin's dead.
• Back in that other universe, most of that real estate is vacant. Asgardian gods followed Odin to the netherworld, and Subterraneans got slaughtered by a psychotic killer robot. Hades is still an active netherworld and an item of interest... which may figure how Asgard is involved. And Hades is supposedly underground, which explains Subterranea in the plot.

... Whatever. If it ever comes to something, I'm sure I'll be right in the middle of it. I usually am.

The Villain War. Featuring:

Prelude: The Solarian on Earth. The aliens in the Saucer War have enough Solarian doomsday weapons for the job right now (one being enough), but they're missing one. Chances are, he's making North Dakota bright and sunny right now. (12 - 13 Jun)

The Return of MANIC 5. Hudson Ramo and Karen Bodil of the DuoPolarity Companies have been forced to work with Russell Anvernacht and an android of some sort to survive - and the android looks like the infamous MANIC 5! They're fighting their way off a teleport platform. (19 Jun)

The Saucer War, Status Report. The war is quiet, but the saucers are still in the news. (13 - 25 Jun)

Make It Never Was 2. There's been a nuclear meltdown at Michigan City, Indiana, and three friends of a young mage get radiation poisoning. He goes on a quest to make it Never Was. It's like a new Harry Potter novel, only with... nuclear meltdown? (26 Jun)

The Villain War continues.

DuoPolarity 3.1. Weird creatures from another universe are invading us again. My old universe actually had protocols (I actually helped write them) for when avatars of chaos show up. But this universe is out of luck. (5 Jul)

Librarian to the Galaxy. The Earthling cyber-strike against the alien invaders is underway - but it has some unexpected results. (6 Jul)

Crusher Island. Featuring:

Return to Crusher Island. The hulking pro wrestler Crusher Joe Corrigan has retired from superhuman life. He's gotten so many superhuman applicants to join him, he's kind of impressed when a baseline human shows up. (16 - 17 Jul)

The Adventures of Cap'n Bill. There's been a mutiny on board a freighter filled with beer. Its captain Bill put it down, by unleashing the beer crates at the right time. (23 Jul)

Crusher Island continues.

Mothers for Crusher Joe. Stonewater, superheroine-leader of Total Conversion, has been offered a contract to invade Crusher Island. But she's decided against it, because Crusher Joe's gotten some mothers to march in a parade. (7 Aug)

High Priestess of Danger. A priestess is intimidated by an authentic World War II hero during a ritual, because he seems to be indestructible. (8 Aug)

• The priestess is Eve Marie Lateran, acting as chaplain to the Patriotic Homeland Corps. Her big brother Philippe St. Joseph Lateran is one of the Secret Masters of Evil, and he's using the ongoing evil plots to his own advantage.
• The target congregation is migrants from ancient Israel. Monseigneur Lateran thinks they might be susceptible to flashy ritual. So he's sent up a regular tent meeting, near a truck stop in Battle Creek, Michigan where they've come to congregate.
• The hero is Private Danger, who recently resurfaced. Monseigneur Lateran thought it might give some advantage to have an authentic patriotic figure in his employ. As a bonus, Private Danger is indestructible and can do stunts.
• But as the U.S. Army found out before him, Private Danger is not highly motivated. And you can't threaten him into taking his job seriously.

Still, villainous plans are proceeding on this and other fronts. I've never known just one or two setbacks to cause the cancellation of a villainous plan involving a governmental contract. Usually the villains just declare mandatory unpaid overtime, for all their minions who take them seriously.

The villains have another victory now, because Spain's had another governmental change. The conservative-religious People's Party is back in power under Mariano Rajoy Brey, and is now ready to rejoin the UK / US alliance. (10 Aug)

• Spain left the new Persian Gulf War after a terrorist bombing in 2004. But that doesn't mean they won't fight the mad bombers. Even as Spain loudly pulled out of Iraq, they quietly sent more troops to Afghanistan!
• Spain always has a concern over its own mad Basque bombers. It is not quite as well-fused a nation-state as (say) France, or even the United States (which has had its own secession issues). At Spain's historical best, it was more of an empire-state, so not worried about national issues.
• Now to affect Spain's politics, there's a persistent rumor that Osama bin Laden's gone forever. I know about this rumor, because I started it. But I certainly don't have the means to spread it on that scale. I suspect the Secret Masters of Evil have been involved.
• This seems to have changed the balance of power in Spain, just enough for the conservatives to come back to power. Just like Monseigneur Lateran wanted. Personally, I hope he doesn't do as well in America.

World on Fire. Some suspicious fires in Greece are explained.

• At one point, two flame-practitioners are chasing each other with a horse and a stagecoach. It seems there's a contest, semi-related to the Black Arts Competition. (20 Aug)
• I know of a guy named Fuego de la Tierra, down in Chile. From what I hear, he's no black mage, but he's drawn in to the contest anyway.
• There's also a North American flame-practitioner who calls himself the Spectral Torch. Black mage, I'd say.
• The contest is in Greece, which has its own flamer, Greek Fire. It's sort of a Flame Olympics. And apparently it's gotten out of control and practically set half of Greece on fire. (5 Sep)
• As often happens with fires, nobody can quite say how it started, so nobody can get blamed. Boy, that sucks, because I'm pretty damned sure the Black Arts Competition did it.

Happy Superhuman Birthday. Who could have guessed, the superhumans Ellipsis and the Mighty Tim had the same birthday? They've worked together practically forever, and even they never knew before this year. But now they're both iconic figures, and their mutual birthday is becoming a superhuman holiday. (9 Sep)

• Almost seventeen years ago (are we all really that old?), in October 1990, Ellipsis met the Mighty Tim. That meeting resulted in our world's first superhuman team, the Balance. The two of them only stayed on the same team until June 1991, but the Balance lived on and spawned other teams.
• Now, Ellipsis and the Mighty Tim dominate the realm of dreams, alongside Ellipsis's wife Julie Wolcott. This is actually the first time they've all been together on their birthday. Only in September 1990 and September 2006 could they all even be found in the same town. And never before this on the same team.
• Julie Wolcott wouldn't let the occasion slip by. On the morning of September 9th, 2007, every superhuman in the world dreamed of a birthday celebration for Ellipsis and the Mighty Tim.
• Not every superhuman from our old world likes Ellipsis (I certainly don't), and not every one likes the Mighty Tim. But most of the non-villainous ones like one or the other. So their birthday got nearly worldwide respect among superhumans.
• The holiday was particularly well observed on Crusher Island, where superhumans have gathered. Guinness Stout flowed freely, as it often does when Crusher Joe Corrigan has something to celebrate.
• There were some normal-powered humans visiting Crusher Island, particularly Mothers for Crusher Joe. The superhumans had no problem inviting them in too.
• Bottom line: This could become the superhuman equivalent of U.S. Lincoln-and-Washington's Birthday. Which is to say, Superhuman "Presidents Day".

Earthfall, or The Hero War. The villains have been teaming up a lot this year. The heroes are finally catching on to this "team-up" concept, with spectacular effect. As often happens, I experience it first, and find out more after. (25 Sep)

Unholy Game War. Role-playing games, escalated.

• One player portrays the comic-book mercenary "Paladin" at a game night, and gets recruited by a princess. Some of the other players are jealous. She might know they're nerds.
• Somehow the game has a lush virtual-reality landscape, resembling Babylon with highways, sheepskin merchants, and Sif and the Valkyrie only with bigger hooters.
• But now those nerds from earlier have been recruited to fight for Jesus - or so they think. Are demons really paying attention to this? (2 Oct) /li>

Trapped on Dinosaur Island! A female rapper and a superhuman martial artist got chased up a shed by a dinosaur, which dragged down one man from the second floor. Now they've put out a music video about it. They must have been trapped on Dinosaur Island, when Dinosaur Island still had dinosaurs. (15 Oct)

Moon Poker. On the Moon they have strange currency with big nickels, and strange rules for poker... The Earth is now getting exposed to the strange customs of its secret Lunar colony. For instance, metal is much cheaper than paper, and they clean themselves with fine sand instead of water. They don't know what to do when the pumice pipelines are shut off. (16 Oct)

Hung be the Heavens with Black 2. Superhumans are coming under attack throughout North America. (4, 5 Nov)

Return of the Fine Green Paste. In March, some mercenaries discovered the Fine Green Paste, a virulent species of near-microscopic mold. In September the Fine Green Paste invaded Monaco, which fortunately is mostly urban. Now the Paste is stepping up its activity.

• Near Indianapolis, a man gets turned into a vampire. But he's lucky, because his friends have become slime molds. They chase him through the town. One man joins the chase but he's slow, so stupid he only says "Vuh", and so sticky he can't throw a basketball. He's got sticky slime! (29 Nov)
  • Hey, where do undead beings with green ichor instead of red blood originally come from anyway? Could be, their blood is Fine Green Paste, adapted to feed from things other than the sun which it no longer sees. Abrupt transitions in the feeding pattern might be fatal to it.
  • Why Indianapolis? Well, it is the home of Total Conversion, therefore a major superhuman hub.

Attack of the Fine Green Paste. Why is mold showing up in barracks in the desert - and then walking into a mansion on the other side of the world?

• In news from Iraq, some soldiers are getting in trouble for mixed marriages. But never mind the human cultures, why is mold showing up in barracks there? (2 Dec)
• The Middle East is not famous for mold. It's not unknown there, but it's even less common than leprosy ever was. For mold to survive that close to a desert, it's probably the Fine Green Paste.
• How is the Fine Green Paste so resilient? It seems to have Unobtainium structures - much like the blood of most superhumans, including myself.
• There is one sample of Fine Green Paste - in clay form, dug up in Monaco after they sterilized an infestation there. It's being transported to a private lab - but then it disappears!
• Right about then, a strange greenish visitor arrives at the mansion home of the lab owner - who happens to be the vigilante Bandolier. (Think "Batman", only with grenades and body armor.) The butler lets the guy in, but there's a security staff that tracks him, while Bandolier's young ward trains to fight him. (26 Dec)
• Things turn out okay for the enemies of Fine Green Paste... for now. The walking sample of green clay gets subdued, but the tanker's still missing. Next year could be the year of the Fine Green Paste.