Subject:	FW: A Christmas story from the X-files...

> X-Files Christmas Story
>
> 57 Elm Street
> Bethlehem, Pa.
> 11:51 p.m.,
> December 24th.
>
> "We're too late! It's already been here."
>
> "Mulder, I hope you know what you're doing."
>
> "Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated,
> mounted,
> transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly;
> stockings hung
> by the chimney, with care."
>
> "You really think someone's been here?"
>
> "Someone, or something."
>
> "Mulder, over here--it's a fruitcake."
>
> "Don't touch it! Those things can be lethal."
>
> "It's O.K.  There's a note attached: 'Gonna find out who's naughty and
> nice.'"
>
> "It's judging them, Scully. It's making a list."
>
> "Who? What are you talking about?"
>
> "Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity who could travel
> at
> great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants.  Once a year,
> near the
> winter solstice, this creature is said to descend from the heavens to
> reward
> its followers and punish disbelievers with jagged chunks of
> anthracite."
>
> "But that's legend, Mulder--a story told by parents to frighten
> children.
> Surely you don't believe it?"
>
> "Something was here tonight, Scully. Check out the bite marks on this
> gingerbread man. Whatever tore through this plate of cookies was
> massive--and in a hurry."
>
> "It left crumbs everywhere. And look, Mulder, this milk glass has been
>
> completely drained."
>
> "It gorged itself, Scully. It fed without remorse."
>
> "But why would they leave it milk and cookies?"
>
> "Appeasement. Tonight is the Eve, and nothing can stop its wilding."
>
> "But if this thing does exist, how did it get in? The doors and
> windows were
> locked. There's no sign of forced entry."
>
> "Unless I miss my guess, it came through the fireplace."
>
> "Wait a minute, Mulder. If you're saying some huge creature landed on
> the
> roof and came down this chimney, you're crazy. The flue is barely six
> inches
> wide.  Nothing could get down there."
>
> "But what if it could alter its shape, move in all directions at
> once?"
>
> "You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?"
>
> "Exactly.  Scully, I've never told anyone this, but when I was a child
> my
> home was visited. I saw the creature. It had long white shanks of fur
> surrounding its ruddy, misshapen head. Its bloated torso was red and
> white.
> I'll never forget the horror. I turned away, and when I looked back it
> had
> somehow taken on the facial features of my father."
>
> "Impossible."
>
> "I know what I saw. And that night it read my mind. It brought me a
> Mr.
> Potato Head, Scully. It knew that I wanted a Mr. Potato Head!"
>
> "I'm sorry, Mulder, but you're asking me to disregard the laws of
> physics.
> You want me to believe in some supernatural being who soars across the
> skies
> and brings gifts to good little girls and boys.  Listen to what
> you're
> saying. Do you understand the repercussions? If this gets out, they'll
> close
> the X-files."
>
> "Scully, listen to me: It knows when you're sleeping.  It knows when
> you're
> awake."
>
> "But we have no proof."
>
> "Last year, on this exact date, SETI radio telescopes detected bogeys
> in the
> airspace over twenty-seven states.  The White House ordered a
> Condition Red."
>
> "But that was a meteor shower."
>
> "Officially. Two days ago, eight prized Scandinavian reindeer vanished
> from
> the National Zoo, in Washington, D.C. Nobody--not even the zookeeper
> was
> told about it. The government doesn't want people to know about
> Project
> Kringle. They fear that if this thing is proved to exist the public
> will
> stop spending half its annual income in a holiday shopping frenzy.
> Retail
> markets will collapse. Scully, they cannot let the world believe this
> creature lives.  There's too much at stake. They'll do whatever it
> takes to
> insure another silent night."
>
> "Mulder, I--"
>
> "Sh-h-h. Do you hear what I hear?"
>
> "On the roof. It sounds like ... a clatter."
>
> "The truth is up there. Let's see what's the matter."