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Crack Hitler is a villain created by Scott Eiler.
Alter Ego: Jeff Stokes
Team Affiliations: Black Mages
Status: Semi-active
Location: Mobile across realities
Favorite Music: Wagner; early music of Laibach; Pink Floyd, The Wall
Character Portrait


Jeff Stokes is affiliated with evil mages. As his "pride name", he chose "Crack Hitler". In his career of evil, he has:

  • Interfered with a veterans' ceremony in 1991.
  • Dominated Atlantic-Ocean Subhumans and attacked the Bahamas in 1995.
  • Brought Ultimate Darkness upon Iowa (and the Earth) in 2006.
  • Was pardoned by an assembly of superhumans later that year, and sent to explore other realities. His activities since then are undocumented.


Thinks he's cooler than he really is.

Powers and Abilities

Has reasonably consistent access to "dark side" magic. Like other mages of his order, he considers "Black" to be a pride color, not a skin color. So he is a Black Mage.


Increasingly old white dude. Prefers to wear a paramilitary uniform made of leather.


Author's Notes

The name comes from a "Faith No More" song from 1992. The drawing comes from his 1995 appearances.

This guy made multiple appearances in role-playing games of the 1990s, and showed up briefly in text stories after that. His big break would be Heroes of the New Present, 2006. In that story, he seemed the obvious representative for incarcerated evil mages who traffic with magic squirrels. And since those mages actually succeeded in their plot *and* made it into a Powernaut comic, he's got some story mojo now. So, he may be back... somewhere.

(signed) Scott Eiler, 10 September 2016.

This entry and all characters within it are copyright © 2016 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.