Legion of Net.Heroes
Clueless Lad in the Legion of Net.Heroes: Nudist Man The Kiwis The Great Catastrophe
Horrible Name Lad and Poignant Death Lass: Stay Dead! Don't Stay Dead! Not Dead!
The Devil Legion: (Satan Wants His Spine Back! SW10 LNH) Devil Missionaries from Planet Hell Devil Dog
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featuring The Kiwis!
Tie-In with the Spoon of Destiny Parts 6 and 7!

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This story takes place immediately after The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 7.

The kiwi birds in the Legion of Net.Heroes Sub-Basement #42 stared at each other, then with a frantic cry of "Kiwi!!!" dived for cover in a side corridor as the fireball expanded.

The Wisest Kiwi said, [Blow the side door!]

Dimm Bulbus and his girlfriend were in their secret place, up the mountainside from Dimm Hollow, West Virginia, near the old coal mine escape hatch. Dimm said, "Jenny, I'm gonna get me an apartment in the city. Then as soon as Firefighter Academy lets me on vacation, I'm comin' back to get you."

"I thought you were going to Police Academy?"

"Uh, I failed their psych tests. They think I'll be better at rescuing people than arresting them... But never you mind. I'm comin' back for you, girl."

"Oh, Dimm..." Jenny raised her lips toward his.

Then the escape hatch blew open! A cluster of chicken-sized woodpeckers ran out. Jenny said, "Huh. Some weird birds grow down in the mines..."

Then flame spurted out the mine door! Dimm said, "Jenny! Mine fire! There's probably people hurt in there! I gotta go check! You go in town and get help!" He charged through the door.

The kiwis saw the human charging into the side corridor they'd just left. One said, [Clueless.]

But the Wisest said, [That human has power. You! Follow him!]

[Awk!] The Junior Kiwi ran back in the corridor, chasing the human.

Down the corridor, Dimm Bulbus saw a man stumbling out, obviously singed, and clutching a spoon. Dimm asked, "Hey! You okay?"

"Umm... I'm alive."

"That's good. Anyone else in there?"

"Some interesting stuff up ahead..."

"Okay! Forget your lunch! Mine exit just ahead! You're almost safe!" Dimm Bulbus charged further in.

The stumbling man was alone. He said, "Right. I should be able to power up now..." His body crackled with electricity!

The Junior Kiwi was watching. He looked toward where Dimm Bulbus had run, and muttered, [Clueless.] Then he sighed, and ran after Dimm.

Dimm came to a large chamber, filled with gold bars and jewelry. He said, "Woah. I found a Government stockpile."

Then he saw a dragon! The dragon said, "This is my stockpile."

"No way! No way are you a dragon with a pile of gold!"

The dragon shimmered, and disappeared! In its place was a man in a banker suit. He said, "You seem to have caught me, human... er, young man. I'm your Government's overseer of their stockpile here."

"So what was that dragon stuff?"

"Holographic projector, of course."

"Got it... Anyone in danger here?"

"No, things are under control."

"Got it. I gotta go. Thanks." Dimm charged on.

In the chamber, the human banker shimmered and became a dragon again. The dragon saw the Junior Kiwi, and asked, [What was that?]

[Power human. Wisest Kiwi says, he has Destiny-Spoon-level power. He made you not a dragon.]

[Gah!... Well then. The way he's going, he'll probably find other humans who want that power.]

[Thanks. Must go now.] The Junior Kiwi chased on after Dimm Bulbus.


- LNH-20 Kiwis created by Lalo Martins, inspired by Kid Kiwi's Kiwi Kommandos, created by Descrii Ian Porrell. Or so I hear.

- LNH-20 Dragons probably created by Adrian J. McClure.

- The Recovery Man created by Saxon Brenton.

- The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 6 created by Lalo Martins.

- The Spoon of Destiny Saga Part 7 created by Saxon Brenton.

- Clueless Lad created by Scott Eiler.

Author's Notes:

I have been planning all week for this to be an instant story, so as to be alert to latest plot changes. I have taken perhaps an hour to write it. So no, it's not 24-Minute material.

In finest cascade manner, I am going to resolve a dangling plot situation. The Recovery Man was apparently quite singed by dragonfire, and found the nearest human-form exit - along with a captured demi-Spoon of Destiny.

Oh, and here's a possible slot for Jenny Everywhere for LNH20. As Clueless Lad's girlfriend. Others may of course have better ideas for her. I'm ready to yield her. But if I were to actually declare her here, I would have to say...

The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
Unported License. To view a copy of this license, visit creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ or send a letter to
Creative Commons, 444 Castro Street, Suite 900, Mountain View,
California, 94041, USA.


Various characters in this fiction have of course been created by various people. But you may rely that Clueless Lad and Ensign Bodybag are copyright © 2012 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.