Legion of Net.Heroes
Clueless Lad in the Legion of Net.Heroes: Nudist Man The Kiwis The Great Catastrophe
Horrible Name Lad and Poignant Death Lass: Stay Dead! Don't Stay Dead! Not Dead!
The Devil Legion: (Satan Wants His Spine Back! SW10 LNH) Devil Missionaries from Planet Hell Devil Dog
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featuring Nudist Man!

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This story probably takes place before The Spoon of Destiny.

Nudist Man was on vacation from the Legion of Net.Heroes. As their Ultimate Nudist, he'd disrupted a lot of villainous plans. And he'd disrupt a lot more. But on vacation, he needed a quiet place to be his nudist self.

He was hiking west from the Appalachian Trail. The main trail was too crowded for him. And he'd heard about a raptor observatory in West Virginia. Oh, why not.

Nudist Man was a nudist, but he still had to stock his backpack. Like any Trail hiker, he'd sent canned goods ahead. So he walked into the post office of Dimm Hollow, West Virginia. He took out the ID from his backpack, showed it to the postmaster, and got his package.

The locals gaped at him. But he exuded self-confidence. Being a nudist wasn't easy, but he'd mastered it. No one commented as he picked up his package and walked out. Until...

One tall teenage boy on the street said, "Hey, mister, you shouldn't ought to dress like that. Or undress, I guess. We don't do that in Dimm Hollow."

Suddenly, Nudist Man was wearing blue jeans!

He silently opened his mouth, spread his arms, and looked at the boy. His unspoken question was obvious, at least to the teen. And hopefully to intelligent readers such as ourselves.

The teen responded, "Heck if I know where your new pants came from. But maybe you should keep 'em."

Nudist Man unzipped and dropped them.

Suddenly he had new pants underneath! The teen said, "No, we don't drop our pants in public here in Dimm Hollow."

So Nudist Man dropped his pants again.

... Ten pairs of pants later, the teen boy said, "Okay. You must be from some place where people drop their pants in public. Kind of like where the women cover their bodies, but the other way round. Like no clothes instead of clothes, and men instead of women... Uh, welcome to town."

Nudist Man sloughed off the fallen trousers, and walked out of town.

Back on the trail, he wondered about clueless lads, as Doc Nostalgia would put it. What clueless lads could West Virginia hold, whose power could manufacture clothes out of nothingness? Possibly a curiosity for the science staff back at Legion of Net.Heroes Headquarters. Maybe even hero material, compared with some of the others from old versions of the Legion.

Back in Dimm Hollow, that same clueless lad said to his friends, "Hey, that was weird. I wonder what else will be out there when I go join the Net.ropolis Police Academy?"

Author's Notes:

Nudist Man was created by Tom Russell. I hope I've properly kept track that he's Free For Use, and I hope I've properly reflected the awesomeness that must be Nudist Man. All other characters (such as they are) are hereby declared Free For Use by Eiler Technical Enterprises.

I see The Writers are feverishly building the world once again, starting with a big saga. Clueless Lad was originally designed as an introduction to a world like this. Perhaps he may serve that purpose now, the easy way. One character at a time.

Oh, and who's on the science staff at Legion of Net.Heroes Headquarters? That seems to be open as yet. I suspect "Doc" is just an honorary title for Doc Nostalgia. And Kindle's been showing up a lot, but she's more a clinician.


Various characters in this fiction have of course been created by various people. But you may rely that Clueless Lad and Ensign Bodybag are copyright © 2012 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.