April - June 2008

American Tour
I make Hurrier Tech known throughout the American Midwest.

For my American readers, I'm pleased to report that I've finished a visit to your great country. I had several engagements in your states of Indiana and Illinois.

Last Saturday I helped publicize an automotive museum in Auburn, Indiana. The town of Auburn is built around automotive performance. I can respect that.

On Sunday I appeared at your Dan Quayle Vice-Presidential Museum, in his home town of Huntington, Indiana. I sense some derision toward Mr. Quayle in your country. But it is a good thing to commemorate any honest public servant, especially those who would otherwise serve without recognition.

My next engagement was the following Friday in Rosemont, Illinois. I presented at a fitness convention. My speed comes in part from my own physical fitness, therefore I support those who instruct others to be fit.

I spent the intervening time consulting with specialists about the many threats to our world. There are very many things that threaten us, from secret conspiracies to alternate universes. I will not rest until I can declare us safe from them all.

Save the Animals
When superhumans fight, what becomes of other creatures? Hurrier Tech can save them.

Today I entered an agreement with the international police authority Interpol. My company will now investigate every incident site of superhumans that Interpol investigates, to rescue wounded animals.

Katerina, I know you love all of Earth's creatures. This is another thing I do for you.

Theatre Sponsorship
Some theatre does not represent world leaders as buffoons.

Hurrier Tech currently has the pleasure of sponsoring a play which speculates as to the causes of the current Mesopotamian war. I have not had time to see this play, but I'm told it portrays the leaders of America and Britain as real people who were genuinely concerned about the welfare of the world. In contrast to other portrayals by self-styled comedians, this is refreshing. I too care for the welfare of the world, so I understand. People portray me as an uncaring jack-booted buffoon, too.

My efforts to defend our world have been redoubled. I've learned that there may be a conspiracy to influence the upcoming American presidential election, by presenting as candidate a man with minimal record of public service, therefore minimal adverse public reaction.

My little Katerina, if you could only understand me, you would be proud of how I defend you. It has been so long...